#47 | Pregnancy Story Mini - Jess Hears Herself

Hi, my name is Jessica. I live in Massachusetts and I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy. Finding the right prenatal care for me took longer than it needed to all because I forgot how to respond to my own intuition. I'd like to share my story in case it helps other women remember how to listen to their own intuition and allow it to guide them to the right care for them. My pregnancy was received with a lot of love and excitement in February of 2020. And my husband and I began our prenatal visits at a reputable care program. At our very first visit, we entered the program and we met with a very nice doctor, who, in between yawns welcomed us to the care center and indicated we would be unlikely to see him as we'd meet with many providers over the course of our care. We left the appointment and got into our car. I turned to my husband and I said,

That felt weird to me.

My husband agreed, but neither of us could identify exactly why.

Soon after, in March of 2020, our joy and excitement turned into fear when we realized the impact of the ongoing global pandemic. I spent the next few months battling overwhelming anxiety and I did not have the early pregnancy experience I'd always dreamed of. I continue to receive my prenatal care through this program, and I continued to ignore my own discomfort regarding my care. I pushed my instincts aside, and I just told myself, the quality of care was impacted by the pandemic, my own experience of pregnancy was impacted by the pandemic. And anyway, who was I to say it should be different, I had never received prenatal care before. Maybe this is just what prenatal care was like. I'd heard such wonderful reviews about this prenatal program. So I had

moments of one What was wrong with me?

What was I doing wrong to receive my prenatal care as anything less than wonderful? My husband who's very supportive, ignored his own unease at our care experience, because he was trying to hold space for me to make my own choices around my continued care. And neither of us could really quite put our finger on what was wrong. So it just remained a feeling that we both brushed to the side. I did have some friends and family remind me that I could check out other programs but I told myself they just didn't understand the impact of the pandemic. Despite the supportive advice I was getting, I really did feel stuck. I know now that that stuck feeling had more to do with ignoring my own intuition than it had to do with anything else. Throughout the first six months of my pregnancy, I did realize that I had one need which was to build community around my pregnancy experience. I reached out more often to my mother, my friends and other women and I I began to notice how much better I felt after talking to those I trusted to hear me and support me. At some point, I remembered that my husband's co worker, a new mother, who recognized my need for community before I did had sent me information about an online support group. And I was elated to find out that the support group was actually held by two teachers from yoga sanctuary in North Hampton, which is my very own community yoga studio, where I had attended my yoga teacher training classes for the past year or two. I knew the teachers I knew some of the group members, and all of this contributed to my growing ability to notice what felt good, what fell right to me and pay closer attention to my own needs during my pregnancy. I started attending the weekly group where I shared my pregnancy challenges. I did continue to notice areas of discomfort like when one of the group members talked about her own fears, but put it in the context of how much she trusted her prenatal care providers which was helpful to her I realized in that moment that I didn't trust my prenatal care providers, but again, I ignored it.

In addition to offering love and kindness through the group, one of my friends in the group shared her experience with hypno birthing of Connecticut and how the classes had helped her overcome her own fears and her pregnancy. sounded great to me sounded like something I needed. So my husband and I signed up and we began our course with Cynthia Overgard. The course completely changed my pregnancy experience for the better, but today I'm going to focus specifically on the impact the course has had on my prenatal care. In our very first class, Cynthia talked about using your intuition as your best tool to determine whether or not you found the right prenatal caregiver. She said, pay attention to how you feel when you're arriving your appointment and notice how you feel when you're leaving. something clicked for me then Something that finally allowed me to hear those words and the words of all the women who tried to remind me that this was my pregnancy. And this was my experience. And I have agency over that. In the same class, Cynthia shared that sometimes in classes like hers, people will notice they become tearful or otherwise emotional in response to certain content. And she encouraged us to notice this and reminded us that our emotions and intuition are informative if we pay attention to them. Something started to shift inside of me, and I started to remember and realign with my own sense of power. After this class, I unfortunately had a very scary experience and I reached out to my prenatal care provider. The situation was handled very badly. And it left me feeling alone and uncared for. The word Cynthia had shared came back to me along with another quote that she had shared, which was to hear Everyone but listen to yourself. For the first time really in my pregnancy, I responded to my unhappiness by listening to myself. I made an appointment with another care provider, one that I had long been curious about a provider my intuition had been leading me towards despite my best efforts to ignore it. My husband and I attended a consultation at the care practice. And I knew within 10 minutes that I'd found the right fit for me. I felt it in my heart in my gut, my whole being in such a powerful way that I was in tears through most of the appointment, months of overthinking over analyzing and ignoring my own intuition. No longer mattered to me, because in that session, which, by the way, the wonderful midwife allowed us almost two hours of her time for all of my unease was just replaced with a sense of trust and a sense of inner peace. I hope that anybody who hears My story is able to recognize that the right birth experience is available to you. You just have to be able to listen to yourself. You don't need to be able to identify exactly why something feels the way it does. You just need to notice and respond to your own wisdom. Your pregnancy truly is yours and you already have everything you need to have a beautiful experience. If you just tune in and take the time to listen to yourself.

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