#102 | Full Moons & Labor; Impact of Fear on Labor Progress; Birth Centers vs. Hospitals; Low Amniotic Fluid; The Fourth Trimester; Breastfeeding with a Toddler; Placenta Encapsulation; Pushing; Pregnancy Tests

Yeah, no, it's not a justifiable reason to go to a Cesarean birth but it may be a situation if it is severe enough that requires an induction that you trust is the primary emotion we need to feel for sex to work optimally and so to Is it the primary emotion for childbirth to work optimally, it's when our body softens, and opens and relinquishes catching babies at home. You're always looking at the moon and going to bed on the night. So the full moon going, huh, I'm probably not gonna sleep tonight. It didn't seem comical to me until I became pregnant the first time. And then I was like, why are people saying this better yet? After your placenta comes out? just grabbing moment. Have your partner grab it? And then Oh, we don't know what happened to it. Don't ask questions. You're obviously kidding, right? Why are you joking? Now are you What?

I'm Cynthia Overgard, owner of HypnoBirthing of Connecticut, childbirth advocate and postpartum support specialist. And I'm Trisha Ludwig, certified nurse midwife and international board certified lactation consultant. And this is the Down To Birth Podcast. Childbirth is something we're made to do. But how do we have our safest and most satisfying experience in today's medical culture? Let's dispel the myths and get down to birth.

Trisha, I want to start the episode by congratulating Christina from the state of Washington from the great state of Washington. They always say that the great I actually got four birth stories in from clients this week. And this one came in last night and she mentions sharing it with you. So I figured I'd share it with you on the podcast this morning. And everyone else can hear her birth story as well. Yeah, let's hear it's kind of an interesting birth story too. It has some little twists and turns in it. But I'm going to read it now with her permission. Hi, Cynthia, I wanted to share with you that our daughter was born on April 28. At 1:49pm. She was a healthy eight pounds and 13 ounces 94th percentile. It's taken me a while to write this email because I've been struggling to put into words the gifts you've given me through your podcast and your childbirth course. My birth experience was wonderful, powerful, Primal, and beautiful. And it's set off the most amazing journey I now find myself on as a mother. I feel transformed. I'm someone I've never known before. And I honestly do not think I would feel this way had it not been for all I learned from you. With that said, I wanted to share my birth story with you. As you know, I had quite a bit of prodromal labor in the weeks leading up to her birth, I wasn't expecting that much prodromal labor and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't pretty frustrating and a little emotionally taxing. But in the end, I think it helps make my birth even better because my body was very prepped by the time I went into labor. On Tuesday, April 27th. In the morning, my midwife stripped my membrane. I have to thank you and Trisha on this because you talked about this on one of your podcast episodes. And it made me feel more confident in my decision to have it done. The membrane sweep really got things moving. I immediately started having contractions that were different from what I'd felt before. In the evening, my husband and I went for a walk and that really got things moving. I had to stop several times because the surges were getting really strong. They continued pretty regularly all evening, but they never got more intense, even though I had to breathe through them. So we went to bed at 630 The next morning, I was woken up by a very powerful surge and I knew this was it. I labored at home for two hours before I knew in capitals. It was time to head to the birth center. You were totally right. When you mentioned this in class, you really just do know when it's time after being checked and monitored for a while after we arrived. We got to go back to our birth suite. And the midwife immediately ran the tub. The tub was absolutely luxurious. It was the most immediate relaxation and relief. I labored in the tub for only about two hours when I started to feel the urge to push. So I asked the midwife to check me and I was at 10 the push and was the most challenging part of the experience. But I also knew it was what was really bringing me closer to my baby. And in between pushing. I had total relief. We were all talking and laughing and I was just relaxing in the tub. At one point in the pushing stage the midwife and doula suggested I get out of the tub and push on the toilet. I knew because of your course that one I could refuse. And two that pushing on a toilet was pretty common. I decided to do it. And it actually was amazing. Getting out of the tub was one of the hardest parts of the whole thing. But pushing on the toilet felt so good. I almost didn't want to get back into the tub to birth my baby. I did get back in the tub though. And after only a few more pushes I reached down and felt that her head was out. I couldn't believe it. I was preparing myself for this process to take so much longer. It was about 50 minutes of total pushing. after touching her head. I looked up at everyone in the room and said she has hair and they looked at me with various Surprised looks. I asked if they could see her and they couldn't because of my position. I wanted my husband to be able to watch her to be born. So I moved my position that they could all see, the midwife checked for the cord around her neck, which was there, as you know, no big deal. But then the midwife changed her tone a bit, looked at me and said, I'm going to get her out. Now, this really confused me because one, I thought, No, I'm going to get this baby out. And two, she had been so wonderful and supportive of the natural experience this whole time. So it felt really weird that she would say this. We later learned that our baby came out with her hand at her face. So her hand came out with her head. When this happens, I guess there's a concern that there could be shoulder dystocia. So the midwife wanted to move fast. She did a little maneuver while I pushed, and then my daughter was born. I got to pull her up. And I'm so sad. We didn't have someone there to take a picture of my face. This is where things turn the bed. I looked down and saw the cord snap, and there was a ton of blood. The midwife said we have a snapped cord, and the whole room changed. They had my husband take a shirt off and had me hand him the baby for skin to skin and rushed me out of the tub that got me on the bed gave me a shot of pitocin and the midwife reached up into my uterus to get the placenta out. I guess when the cord snaps there's a concern of hemorrhage. It turns out that when the midwife went to slip the cord over the baby's neck it snapped because it was so short. She said that the cord snapped two inches from the placenta, something she'd never seen before. But it was all remedied very fast. And I felt totally safe and cared for the entire time. Even when they were doing these vital procedures to keep me safe. They still asked me before they did anything to me, including administering the pitocin. And now we have our sweet baby girl. Once I was cleaned up, everyone left us in the birth suite for three ish hours just to snuggle as a family. You were also right about the big baby thing. Everyone was so excited to hear because she looks so chunky when she came out. She had a giant head as well, something she got from my husband, but it was no problem at all. I hardly had a tear. My midwife said if she hadn't come out with her hand by her face, I wouldn't have torn at all. My husband and I had decided not to use a doula. But the birth center provides you with one anyway. And she was fantastic. Afterwards, she came to say goodbye and thank us for letting her witness the birth. She told me that it was an amazing birth to watch that it was rare to see something like that for a first time mom, she didn't need to tell me to move because I was moving the whole time. She didn't need to tell me I could do this because I never once cried or said I can't do this. She said she could tell I completely trusted my body the entire time. I don't share this to toot my own horn, though it definitely makes me feel wonderful. But because I owe a lot of that trust to my body and to you. Your chorus and your podcast really educated me to the process and made me feel completely confident that my body knew exactly what to do. Nothing in the entire experience was a surprise. I felt prepared the whole time. Even the snafu at the end with the snap cord I felt prepared for and calm the whole time. So again, thank you so much for your childbirth course your podcast, and just your general support in my pregnancy. It made all the difference for me, and I'm better because of this birth experience. And if you wouldn't mind, please pass along my thanks to Trisha as well. I always love hearing both of your perspectives in the podcast. A quick note on the postpartum sooth, it is amazing. I'll be recommending it to all the pregnant women at my work as well as anyone I encounter that's pregnant. I started off the recovery process without it and I immediately noticed a difference in my recovery once I started using it. Again, I can't thank you enough, Christina. That's great, beautifully shared birth story. That is exactly what we're looking for in women given giving birth is to at the end of their birth to feel like she did.

And while you thanked us, and we appreciate that your birth is always yours. So you just have yourself to be really proud of for finding the right people to support you along the way. I wanted to comment on Christina mentioning like Cynthia, what you said about big babies is true. And I don't imagine that it made sense to all of you who heard that comment. But in my class, I ask everyone to consider whether they fear giving birth to a big baby. And I think many, particularly American women do have that fear. And I talk about big babies being born because we can go through pregnancy being afraid we have a big baby, then I do get into how there is no correlation between the weight of a baby and the outcome of a birth. But after that, I say you know the most ironic thing of all is when you have a big baby. Really everyone in the room just laughs they're just happy. But if you have a small baby, everyone crowds around removes the baby test. The baby separates the baby from the parents. And it's just so ironic they have us fearing a big baby all the while when that's the outcome that typically gets everyone in the room to just laugh.

That's true. That's really true. I was gonna tell you about the woman who gave birth on a plane who did not know she was pregnant, and she was flying to Hawaii for vacation and by the time she landed in Hawaii, she had a 29 week old baby in her arms can just someone explain to me how on earth anyone doesn't know they're pregnant. But out of the blue a baby coming out of me I can't imagine what that would be like as a human being, to suddenly so shocking next to have a baby like, or just when you actually are going into labor to try to understand what's happening to your body if you don't know you're pregnant, but what the hell is happening to me. But the amazing thing about possible you're planning vacations, so why Life is good. Like when you land with a newborn baby. And at that 29 weeks nonetheless, I mean, this is an incredible story because there happened to be four Nikki nurses on the airplane. Oh, come on, and they they were able to make shift a little Nikki nursery for this baby on the airplane. Did they know each other? Right? Yeah, that would be way too.

Another pack of NICU nurses going to Hawaii together so cliche was going on their fancy vacations, but anyway, this mother You know, had this baby and now has a child and survived giving birth on the plane this preterm baby it's really actually quite a phenomenal story.

Yeah. And the tight that the baby doesn't have a ticket back to the homeland.

I think that baby I think that if you give that if you're born on an airplane, you get to fly free for the rest of your life on that air. What?

American woman would strategize that, you know, out, you know, like, we would plan that. That's a really good deal. I wouldn't be like all women in my family give birth on planes. Do you know about the deal where birth on a plane you get to fly free the rest of your life? You don't want to give birth on a plane? No, I don't. But I mean, not that awful. Yeah, if I can benefit? Trisha, I don't I don't know. That's like an old airplane industry wives tale.

Yeah, it's probably about as true as the question that came in through Instagram about whether or not babies are more likely to be born under the full moon. Do you believe that to be true?

I actually always thought it was true, because I've worked with so many doulas who all had birth son, full moons and they sit up. It's that full moon. And I was like, Oh, really? And then they're like, well, Cynthia, everything about women is linked to the moon. And I can't deny that.

That's why we're supposed to cycle with the moon. And I've certainly said this before, too. I mean, catching babies at home, you're always looking at the moon and going to bed on the night. So the full moon going, huh? I'm probably not going to sleep tonight. I'd okay. So what is their data on this is the Okay, so the, the idea is that you would give birth on a full moon because of the gravitational pull of the moon and how it influences tides and how it actually pulls water. Right? It influences water. But the truth is, it's not true. Not a thing. It's not a thing I kind of wish it was.

But that would be especially you with all your life. What do you say Mercury Retrograde. I mean, I would have been all over this.

I give laluna a lot of power in my life. And you know, I kind of wish it did influence birth. But actually, barometric pressure influences birth more than the moon. So the weather. So if a thunderstorm happens, you're more likely to go into labor under a thunderstorm condition than you are with the full moon. And this is this is it's actually very easy data to analyze, because every birth is recorded on a birth certificate. And you just look at the data to see if more babies are born on full months, and they're not.

Well, that's a shame. Sorry to say What a disappointment. I know. What do we have? Okay. But it's just been way cooler to say it's.

And now it's just not cool at all. It's just mine now. I guess the thunderstorm stuff is kind of cool.

Here's a question that came from your clients. And it says in class, you've referenced a deer in the woods, for example, feeling calm about to give birth, but then when she experiences fear, labor stops. Similarly, this happens to us. My question is if a woman is dilated, and then experiences fear, humiliation, something that causes her labor and processes stop, does she go back to that point in labor when she's relaxed again? For example, if she were six centimeters dilated, and then got afraid, and went back to four, when she no longer feels the fear? Does she start the process from zero centimeters dilated or where she was at her highest level of dilation?

Okay, so yes, all mammals give birth, the same, the same mechanism, the same hormones. Nature has this beautiful process set up in which we go into labor. And for all the mammals without a prefrontal cortex, they just totally attuned to their instincts, and they feel compelled to feel trust. Trust is the primary emotion we need to feel for sex to work optimally. And so too, is it the primary emotion for childbirth to work optimally, it's when our body softens and opens and relinquishes. So if that deer is in the woods in this comfortable state, of being in labor and suddenly hears a sound behind her the oxytocin will stop her body will fill with catecholamines or stress hormones, and the blood will rush away from her uterus to her extremities. And yes, her cervix will close. Does it close all the way? No, it doesn't close all the way. It's the body's way of saying, Go do what you have to do save your life. And when you're relaxed later, you will start to soften and open again, the baby is fine. In the meantime, the baby has sleep and food and nutrition and everything it needs. While the mother is running from harm. We're in the strange point in evolution where we see mustard spill on a shirt and we go, right and we have this we are still in a state of going into fight or flight over things that are not actually life threatening. If you have an experience, let's say in the hospital where someone makes you feel, you know, you don't feel like you don't feel comfortable. You're humiliated. You're, you're feeling fearful. You engage with someone you don't like, no, you're not back at zero.

Yes. So you're never going back to zero once your cervix starts dilating and opening. But on the occasions that I have done home to hospital transfers, I often see the same thing. Now we're not always examining the woman right before we leave and right when we arrive to have that, you know, exact information about where the cervix is. But a woman can be having a very well progressing labor at home and we're transferring for whatever reason we're transferring. And then when we get to the hospital labor stalls, and I absolutely believe that the cervix can also clamp down a little bit more. That's why it's so important to give birth in a space where you feel safe and trusting.

Okay, the next question says is a high or low amniotic fluid level a justifiable reason for C section?

Easy? No. Yeah, no, it's not a justifiable reason to go to a seryan birth, but it may be a situation if it is severe enough, that requires an induction that you know it is time to get the baby out. And if you're planning a C section, then maybe yes, in that case, it would be a C section. But otherwise, there isn't anything about the amniotic fluid volume being low that necessitates a Syrian unless it's a dire emergency. Would you agree?

Yeah, I mean, I don't think I've ever heard of it being the reason for a Syrian though I know women can be pressured that way, it's more likely a reason for induction. But when it comes to low fluid, you can just ask for another ultrasound one or two days later and increase your fluid levels, your water intake, even salt, even water based foods like a salad could increase it and different time of day because the levels increase and decrease all throughout the day. So if they told you you had low fluid levels in the afternoon, scheduled the next ultrasound for the morning, but Trisha, what about high amniotic fluid levels? I've only had one couple in all these years, who had high fluid levels and they ended up they were told by their midwives that they had to be induced. And they left and actually went to Nancy Waner and had a home birth with her she didn't agree that the levels were too high. But what if levels are actually too high? So I guess that would be like above 22? Or so what would what would that indicate?

Well, usually it's associated with a problem with the baby. So that still doesn't necessarily necessitate a C section, but it may necessitate an induction.

Yeah, so it's, it always seems to be an induction more likely.

It will, it just means that something is not working right in the body there. It's a placental problem or something is not functioning well with the with the baby, it could be a birth defect, if you would probably know that beforehand, but maybe not or a kidney problem. But low fluid is much more commonly picked up on ultrasound, it's usually related to the time of day, you know, a lower output in the baby's urine, you can rehydrate as you said, and that affects your amniotic fluid. It's rare that it actually necessitates an immediate induction and certainly not a Cesarean. So how about this one? What is the difference between giving birth in a birthing center and a hospital I mean, a birth centers were specifically designed with the midwifery model of care in mind and as an as a birth environment to promote physiologic birth, but to not be at home. So they're sort of the in between space for people who are not comfortable to in having a home birth, and they're generally close to a hospital or even within a hospital so that hospital transfer is facilitated more easily. There are some freestanding birth centers who are not affiliated at all with hospitals that it is a specific model of care that is based in midwifery care. Look for low risk women who want a low intervention, physiologic birth. So for example, if you choose to give birth in a birth center, you will likely be a first of all a low risk client, you will be looking for a non medicated birth. But should something arise in your birth that needs additional medical attention, then the midwives at a birth center are prepared to manage those things. The only reason you would need to transfer over to a hospital from a birth center attended birth is if there was a need for something that the birth center didn't provide, like an epidural, or a Cesarean. Or, you know, other kinds of pain management. Specifically, a few things that women might be wondering about the difference between a birth center and hospital is that in a birth center, you won't be having an epidural. And in a hospital, you could obviously in a hospital there is, you know, a surgical option and a birth center there is not. But otherwise anything that is a normal variation of labor, such as needing pitocin, or the monitoring of the baby right after right after birth, electronic fetal monitoring throughout labor, all that stuff is also done by the midwives in the birth center. So it's a great option for women who just don't quite feel comfortable yet at home. Want the midwifery model of care and want to low intervention? Natural physiologic birth? But don't like hospitals?

Yeah. Which is fair, I think the only thing is only a couple of things I would add that are really common questions are, what if she decides she wants an epidural? And they have a plan for that? They just say, Okay, if you decide you want that, no problem, they won't judge it, they won't change your mind. They'll get you that epidural, it will require a transfer. That's all

right. And many birth centers are, like I said, are very close to hospitals or even within hospitals and even at a home birth, you can decide you want an epidural and make the transfer. So there's always the option of transferring care.

And then the final thing is sometimes women don't know if they can safely birth in a birthing center because of some special circumstance they have. That's up to the midwives to decide you bring that to them. What's another example VBAC moms, you know, it depends probably on the birthing center. But I think the standard is that if it's the woman's first VBAC first vaginal birth after having had Assyrian, then normally she will be what's called risked out of the birthing center and those midwives can attend her birth in a hospital. And then once she's had that successful VBAC, she can have baby number three in a birthing center, just like a first time, low risk, mom can. But the point is, you can leave it up to them to determine whether you're a good candidate. And I would say the same as to have a home birth with a home birth midwife there, they are the ones in that position to help you make that determination. You don't have to bear that responsibility.

Yeah, but yeah, just just adding birth centers are going to have a little bit more oversight and regulation than home birth. So that could work to your advantage or not, depending on how your advantage Yeah, right. They might be more or less conservative about that decision. That's right. Yes. Yeah, for example, I know a woman who had a home birth and declined the use of antibiotics when she had Group B strep. And that would be extremely difficult to achieve with a birthing center because they have to follow far more protocols and procedures. And that's typically because of the relationship that they have with the hospital that they partner with or that they reside in. That's right. Alright, so the next question says, what are the best way? This is a this is a is a great question. But it's no quick question. What is the best way to take care of yourself after having a baby physically and emotionally? Well? Do we keep your chin up? So we have a workshop around that? So it's kind of perfect. This is a mom in my current class. So I'm reading her question, but I did reply and say, Hey, you haven't heard yet. But about every month, Trisha and I offered this workshop, to my clients and to our podcast listeners, and we have the syllabus available. But we do cover both of these things. Trisha typically takes the lead on the physical recovery, whether it's a Cesarean section or a vaginal birth, and then I typically take the lead on what couples need to know about the emotional and mental experience of postpartum, typically centered around that postpartum birthing mom, but also her partner. postpartum depression, perinatal mood anxiety disorders, typical challenges that come up for couples ways to plan for that postpartum period. We cover all of that in that workshop. And if you don't take the workshop, I guess listening to all of our q&a is does address probably 60 or 70%. of all those questions over time anyway, it's a really big question and a very smart question to be asking when you're pregnant, for sure. I had my baby and never gave thought to any of those things. The physical recovery, the emotional experience, no one spoke to me. Everything was new and surprised me.

Right. Unfortunately, most people don't get any advice prenatally. About the fourth trimester, and it truly is the fourth trimester of your maternity experience. And in the workshop, we talked about everything from boobs to bottom, everything in between. So you know what happens to your breasts, what happens to your belly? What happens to your uterus? What happens to your parents, Liam, what happens to your bottom, you know, to having your first bowel movement after birth, all of those things we go into detail to discuss. But the one thing I will say, just to give this person a little advice right now, in this moment, is the best possible thing you can do after you have your baby is to stay in bed with your baby, or to stay in your bedroom for two weeks. Literally, it's a tall order. And a lot of people sort of like, dismiss it when I say it, because it seems like that's impossible. But truly staying in that place of rest for two weeks with your baby has incredible long term benefits for your recovery, and your breastfeeding, and your bonding and your healing and your emotional health.

It was two of the happiest weeks of your life, wasn't it after North was born?

After all, I mean, yeah, he was the only one that I really took that time. But I swear I would live in those first two weeks, endlessly. After after giving birth. I think it is the most joyous, beautiful, blissful, wonderful time of life. So if you can do it, please do.

And when you have a teenager, you might choose to retreat to your bedroom for two weeks. until everyone you're not just kidding. Teenagers. Yeah, I'd have a baby just to go back to you know, hiding from the rest of the family for Always remember, it's a choice that remains available to you throughout life. I am going to be in my bedroom for two weeks. Everyone, please bring me food.

I know when do you ever get that again? You'll never get that in your life. It's so glorious.

Yeah, it's true. This is the time to ask. And while we do say you put yourself in receiving mode, and you've got to get comfortable with that because most of us are not comfortable with that. And that's something you got to work on and get comfortable asking. Yeah, every time a friend asks you what they can do or bring you better have an answer for them. Tell them how they can help or what they can bring and remember how good it feels to give so let others give to you give them that joy of giving to you.

And I think it really helps to see it as an investment. It's something that pays you back and pays back your family in the long run. Because you will your recovery will be so much smoother.

Yeah, you're in giving mode with the baby and hopefully receiving with everyone else.

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Okay, for our next question, we have recruited Colleen Myatt from beautiful births and beyond to submit the answer to this question because she is a Placenta Encapsulation specialist. She's done it many, many times. And well, first, let's get to the question. And then we can play Colleen response. The question says, I'd like to hear your views around Placenta Encapsulation. I hear mixed views among natural birth communities around Placenta Encapsulation, and I'm planning to do it anyway. But you have any thoughts on this any suggestions as to when to take the pills when not to take them? And also any cases? I guess she's saying contraindications. When we shouldn't encapsulate the placenta, for example, is it okay with a water birth? Is it okay with a hospital birth? Yes, you can still do Placenta Encapsulation with a water birth, you can still do it with a hospital birth. You do have to pre arrange with your provider that you will be taking your placenta with you it is yours to keep. And you'll work out with that Placenta Encapsulation specialists, just how they will get their placenta from you. So you can speak with them about that. And now, with respect to all the other questions here, I'm going to play Callie's response. Hey, guys,

I am so glad that you asked this question. I've been doing encapsulation since 2000. I was on 14, so I've encapsulated hundreds of placentas. And I love having the opportunity to discuss its benefits. placenta Fucci, or eating one's own placenta has been done for hundreds of years. Now we have Placenta Encapsulation, which I like to say is the more civilized way of eating your placenta. And why would one want to do this. So your placenta contains all your own natural hormones, it's perfectly made for you. It contains your own natural iron that your body can absorb and use for energy. It's balanced hormones, which really help for a calmer, happier postpartum period. Some people even save it for menopause for hormone replacement. Now the dosage recommendation would depend on the size capsules that your encapsulation is using, for example, I use double zero. So for that size capsule, I recommend to capsules three times a day for four days, and then two capsules two times a day for four days. And then two capsules, until they are complete once a day. But you can alter that dosage depending on what works best for you. Now, the only reason that your encapsulation just might not encapsulate your placenta is if you spiked a fever during labor, because then that might mean that you have an infection which can affect the placenta. And then the only time that we recommend that you do not take the capsules as if you were to become ill. So if you got mastitis and you had a fever, or you came down with a cold, you would stop your pills until you're all better and then continue with them once you are better. Good luck to you all. And I wish you all a beautiful birth.

Thanks, Colleen for that response. And I just want to circle back to how it can potentially be a challenge getting your placenta out of the hospital, your State Department of Health should have no problem confirming that your placenta is yours. And if you need to send a letter to the hospital copying the hospital attorney telling them it's your intention to take the placenta, then you'll have to go through that process in the months before you give birth. Just make sure you get the okay from everyone. So it's no issue

at all yet after your placenta comes out. Just grab a moment. Have your partner grab it? And I bet and then Oh, we don't know what happened to it. Trisha, don't ask questions.

You're You're obviously kidding, right? grabbing a big bloody organ and hiding it and then saying Why are you joking? No. Are you What? What are you talking about? It's a big pound, pound and a half. bleeding? Yeah.

Just wrap it up in a little, you know, cloth and stuff and Ziploc and put it in your bag. And then you're supposed to say,

I think you have to put it on ice. So you have to stick it in your cooler? Probably. Yeah. But you can't pretend you don't know where it is. And everyone's looking into the bags. And saying, well, it doesn't have legs.

No, no, this is just walk away. This is after they've examined it and they are finished with it. You just say I'm just going to take a minute to look at my placenta and then they leave the room and the placenta disappears.

This cannot be the easiest way through this process. It's yours by loss. Take it and don't stuff it up your shirt or anything.

Just you know you do what you got to do if you want to take your preferred to home. Okay, throw it out the window and have a family member out there. Nobody's there to catch it.

I just because of this conversation and how much you're amusing me. We want to hear your crazy stories are and how you got your placenta out of the hospital? Yes, great idea. Yeah, let's hit like for those tell us on Instagram or contact us through our website and tell us your stories. You want to be the next I'll read this one. Sure.

Hello, lovely ladies. Thanks for starting that way. That's so sweet. We except first, I just want to say how helpful your podcast was in preparing me for my birth, I felt so much more informed going into my birth. And for now I have a question about breastfeeding my newborn. I have a two and a half year old son. And there's a special spot where I always breastfeed and where my pump is, which makes things easier for me. But my toddler often wants to come into the room when I'm breastfeeding. I'm wondering if this is okay. I feel like I'm neglecting him when he is there with me but also when he is out of the room. Any advice on how to handle this?

I've never heard of anyone worried about this before? This is an interesting question. This is quite a thing to worry about because you are breastfeeding constantly. So how this may not be with your toddler constantly while you're breastfeeding?

Yeah, this may be a new a new mom, a new breastfeeding mom, who is feeling uncomfortable about breastfeeding in front of family members, maybe even in front of her partner, probably certainly in public, but there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding in front of your child. In fact, I encourage it, I would say absolutely encourage your child to be there in the room with you. It will make them feel powerful. have things that will make them want to normalize breastfeeding. So keeping them out of the room and with the door closed is it's not normalizing breastfeeding for them. And it certainly will make it more stressful for you because you will feel a lot more pressure to hurry up and finish the breastfeed or, you know, be able to get back to your toddler. I'm assuming that this mom has had, you know, has some help with the toddler and she's not just shutting her toddler out of the room. This has a lot to worry about. And we I think we really want to eliminate that try our best to eliminate that concern that there is some reason that your toddler shouldn't be around you when you're breastfeeding. If she feels stressed out having her toddler in the room, then some helpful pointers for that would just be to, you know, when it's time to breastfeed to have a specific toy that your child could play with, or a book for them to read or something that they do when you're breastfeeding, so that they can be a little bit more entertained.

I feel for her because I can't imagine why she wouldn't have her toddler there, I feel for her toddler, I think that would be a little confusing to to them to not be in the room. And it is the most normal thing in the world to a child. There's nothing that needs to be normalized, though your point, of course, was if you don't do it, then it won't be normalized as they grow up. But I think I just want to reassure her that this is the antithesis of neglecting your child. When you're taking care of one child and the other child is present. That's not ignoring the one child you're taking care of. It's all mothering. And a lot of growing up with siblings is being a part of witnessing your parents mothering and bothering and parenting their other children. That's all really a very beautiful thing. It's a beautiful aspect of having multiple children in the house. But I think we put so much pressure on ourselves that we have to give children undivided attention. And this comes up in our postpartum group ally like we think we have to just give them so much undivided attention. It's taking care of your other Baby, I think that's the most present thing you can possibly do in your household. Any type of nurturing. Go easy on yourself.

Yeah. And the more we can include our other children in the care of the baby and around the care of the baby, the better the sibling bonding is to.

Alright, so we have a couple more questions here. This one says Hi, I'm struggling with ping every time I throw up every time I throw up during my pregnancy, like God poor woman's every time I do women throw up that much Trisha? Um, yeah. Yeah. Can Happen like sure. first trimester you mean being nauseous? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Every time I throw up during my pregnancy, is there anything I can do about this? It's so frustrating and annoying. I seriously hate this. Yeah, bad.

Don't blame her. Yeah, this is tough. I mean, so what this is called is basically stress incontinence related to pregnancy. It's something that can happen outside of pregnancy as well. But when you're pregnant, and you're growing uterus, it's putting extra pressure on your bladder. And then you're having more bouts of vomiting, because you're nauseous with morning sickness, this can be really frustrating. Absolutely. So hopefully, this is just a first trimester thing. And once you get past 12 to 15 weeks, it will get better. And otherwise, just a few little pointers that you know, come to the top of my head. Well, first of all, you want to try to reduce the nausea and vomiting the best you can with anything that is working for you in your pregnancy to help with morning sickness. We've talked about that in another episode. So I won't go into that right now. But as far as just the leaking urine, the more you can keep your bladder empty, the less likely you're going to be to have leakage when you do vomit. So frequently using the bathroom, and then you know, possibly having to wear like a liner, or even period underwear that actually will be able to keep you from leaking into your pants. Because that's a real stressful situation.

And see a pelvic floor specialist, a pelvic floor physical therapist, they can definitely help you with this. So get an appointment with them and let them test the muscle tone a bit and give you some exercises to work on. It's gonna really help.

Yeah, you can certainly do that in pregnancy and definitely postpartum.

that'll definitely that's one of the most common things that they help with.

Yeah, but I want this woman to know that she is not alone in this that women do experience this and whether they experience it with walking, jumping, sneezing, or vomiting, it's all the same.

And the next time your partner says the phrase, we're pregnant, this will give you a nice, justifiable wave of resentment because you'll be thinking, now we're not I hate that phrase. I it's so it's so it's so you know, what we want to say is we're equally responsible for the outcome of this birth for the welfare of this child. But it's just going a step too far to say we are pregnant when that's why that's exactly right person.

fragment. The concept of it is great. The concept is your partner saying I am here with you, I am in this with you. But no, you are not pregnant. You can support me You can be right there by my side, you can do your best to feel everything I feel and experience everything I experienced. But now

your partner could literally sit there eating, eating sushi, drinking wine and smoking a cigarette saying we're pregnant and you're just gonna, hopefully they're not doing the ladder. But you know, it's it's it is comical. And it didn't seem comical to me until I became pregnant the first time. And then I was like, why are people saying this?

I don't know, the first time I ever heard it. I laughed out loud. I'm sure I offended the couple I was talking to

a client. We try so hard to be politically correct with certain things that I think that we overshoot, and then we stop seeing people, you know, we'd like and this is a perfect example of it. It's like it doesn't really work. And I think a lot of partners feel a little unseen as well, because it's it's silly. It's just silly. They're like, Well, no, we're not. But it is it is our baby. So that's good enough. That's enough. All right. Well, now you now you got your dose of our opinions as usual on that one. Trisha, here's an interesting, quick one. I think it's quick, is there any benefit to pushing before you feel the instinct to push? I really can't think of any. Is there any risk? Yes. Okay, then let's talk about that.

Yeah, I mean, the longer you let your baby and body do the work of laboring down, the more effective you're pushing ultimately is. So prior to feeling that instinct to push, but usually that instinct to push doesn't really kick in until we our body is ready to push, but sometimes it does. And if we push before certain things already in our body, then we run the risk of pushing, maybe on a not fully dilated cervix, or also maybe the baby's head hasn't fully aligned properly for pushing, so we can slow the labor process down by pushing too early.

It also I think, wouldn't feel comfortable. I'm guessing. I remember in my labor with Vanessa, I remember Amy suggesting, like, she said, Do you want me to check you? And I said, I remember saying, No, because I don't want to hear anything but 10 I said, I can't bear to hear anything but 10. And she said, Do you want to on the next surge, give like a little gentle kind of push and see if you feel anything. And on the next surge. I mean, I, I did that to like two or three or 4%. And it felt completely wrong and uncomfortable to me. It just was absolutely not time. And then a couple moments later, it was absolutely time. But I don't understand why anyone would suggest a woman do so before she's ready. And I don't think she'll be tempted.

Yeah, I would agree that I mean, the only thing like that just kind of thinking now like possibly see, sometimes a suggestion to try a push as if you're have a very mild anterior lip or something. And sometimes bearing down slightly can help that last bit of cervix just melt away behind the behind the baby's head. But certainly, it would only be like a let's try it, see how you feel. And if it's effective, it's effective. If it's not, we stop. We really don't want to push before our body's telling us to do so. And it's hard. It's hard to push when your body isn't when you're not pushing with your body.

It felt impossible to me. Yeah, it really did. I just was like, nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen. I wonder where she got that idea from but interesting. Okay, so what's the earliest pregnancy test that you can take.

So she's talking specifically about like a brand of pregnancy tests that maybe is more sensitive and effective than others. I really don't know the answer to that. But what I do know is that you can't test for pregnancy until you have the hormone HCG either in your blood or urine. So you can do a urine test, which is the home pregnancy test kit that most people do. And you can do a blood test, which looks for HCG in the blood, that when you can pick up the hormone a little bit sooner than the urine, but pretty much around the same time, the blood test is actually a little bit more accurate. So you're more likely to get if it is positive, it's positive. With the urine test, you can get a false negative where you just it's not showing up yet. But you could actually be pregnant, you can't get either of these tests to show up positive until the embryo has attached to the uterine wall. So that usually happens around six to eight days post conception. And then as soon as that happens, the hormone HCG starts to rise very rapidly in the body, and then you can start to get a positive pregnancy test.

You know, they're working on a test where you can like 10 minutes after having sex, quick results. There's no way there's no way they're gonna build There's no way

I don't mean, I don't really know what you would be looking at. Well, first of all, let me just add to that most of the time, you know, they say you have to wait until you've missed your period, you can definitely get a positive pregnancy test before that point. So if you say, you ovulate on day 14, you have sex on day 14, implantation could possibly have occurred, you know, 678 days later, six would be really early, most people will say 10, even as more the timeframe. So that would be like day 24. If your cycle if your period typically happens on day 28, you can actually get a positive pregnancy test a few days before you miss your period.

All right, and our last question is what is the doulas role? And are they worth it?

I would say that 100% of the time, doulas are worth it, because there is evidence that says that mothers who are supported in labor by a professional labor support person, not their partner, a professionally trained labor support person, their incident of Syrian section is cut in half for first time birth. So to me, of course, there's no downside to having a doula there is a massive benefit. I mean, it's a it's a it's an expense, though. I guess that's the one thing that people really have to weigh it out. If doula care were free for all people, and I would say everybody should have a doula. But if it's something that you have to weigh out whether the benefit is worth the cost, I would still say yes, if you can do it, it's very helpful. It would literally drive down the cost

of health care. Yes. I mean, the studies are so compelling that it almost should be required.

That's right. I mean, imagine taking the Cesarean rate from 50% to 25%, or from 30% to 15%. Because of course, it varies tremendously, you know, from hospital to hospital. But think about savings in health care costs and emotional health. I mean, you can't argue with the data. No, we're all for doulas. So if we didn't get to your question today, we apologize. We had a long list of questions. And we're so excited about that. So thank you for your continued engagement through email through social media. through our website, we love hearing from you. We love answering your questions. They're really fun for us. And if we didn't get to your question today, we will definitely get to it on our next q&a. So please keep them coming. If you would like to give our podcast a review, we would be so grateful that helps so much with Apple podcast visibility and on Spotify. And if you love our podcasts, or even just like our podcast, or have an episode or two that are your favorite, please take a moment to pass those episodes along. You can shoot them over to somebody by texts really easily. And just the more we can spread the word about down to birth the more visibility our show has, the better it is and the more fun it is for all of us.

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Yeah, I would say no it's not a it's not a justifiable it's not a justify it is not a justified oh my god we're having a we're having a mess today. Okay.