#256 | Transforming Your Hospital Birth Experience with Taylor Dilk @taychayy

Taylor Dilk
That saline lock was so uncomfortable that they left the room and I looked at Steve as like I'm having this baby today I am not leaving. So they're like, we're gonna come back at noon, break your water start you on Pitocin. And I was just like, I don't want that. And being in that mindset of, I'm having this baby right now we drew the blinds, we started moving on the ball, we got the mattress out, we turned on jazz music, we put the lavender around us. And I was able to progress because mentally I was I push myself and push myself. And my body finally opened in like really showing them that I could do this, I think shifted everyone's mindset into just being completely present in the moment. And it was it could not have turned out better. Like I'm very grateful that experience was truly insane. And there's nothing in the world that prepares you for when you actually like, hear your baby crying and fold them for the first time. It's just, it is a miracle. It's the coolest thing ever.

I'm Cynthia Overgard, owner of HypnoBirthing of Connecticut, childbirth advocate and postpartum support specialist. And I'm Trisha Ludwig, certified nurse midwife and international board certified lactation consultant. And this is the Down To Birth Podcast. Childbirth is something we're made to do. But how do we have our safest and most satisfying experience in today's medical culture? Let's dispel the myths and get down to birth.

Taylor Dilk
Thank you guys so much for having me on this podcast. Again. I am so honored you guys are the best in the game. So thank you again. I am Taylor Dilk. And I just gave birth 10 months ago to our baby boy Dallas, and he just completely changed our world. And I'm so excited to dive in today to talk more about just all the things pregnancy labor postpartum. I currently own and athletic wear clothing called vitality, which has been so cool. We created it because we truly felt six years ago, there was such a gap in the industry of creating clothes for everybody, and helping everybody feel comfortable and beautiful in their own skin. And so today

And on the side, you had a baby. And on the side, just a little side thing popped a baby out.

Taylor Dilk
so storytime you guys, I wrote this out last night. And I remember writing this out like two weeks after I gave birth. And I'm so glad I did. Because reading through it, you truly forget all the little details. And

Trisha Ludwig
if you don't do it shortly after your birth, a lot of those details disappeared. That's sort of nature's way of ensuring that we do it again. Well, that's

Taylor Dilk
the funny thing too, because I recorded it. And I have not been resolved to watch it yet quite yet. I want to Sunday, but I'm like, I want to have others. So I don't know if I should or shouldn't. Okay, so I got pregnant in 2022. I got pregnant actually, for I got pregnant the first try. But I will say I'm telling you that because I also had a miscarriage shortly after, which was extremely heartbreaking. And you guys know how, like tough that can be unless you go through it. It's really hard to explain to other people how hard that can be on your heart and soul. But we kept trying kept trying. And a couple months later, we got pregnant again. And this time this one stuck. So I got pregnant and at the time I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. It's funny because I feel like no matter what journey you're going through, you don't really know unless you've gone through it or start to educate yourself. And so I put out on my Instagram, everyone I need all the resources. I need all the podcasts What do I do help me out and you guys would not believe how many people told me to listen to you and your podcast. People I turned it on and I was I was hooked. It was all I was doing. In my free time all day every day. I was just slipping out for quick little walks. And I would put you guys on I would put you in the shower put you on. I mean, I couldn't stop. I was so obsessed. So I just want to start by saying thank you guys for everything you do and just being like completely real and unfiltered and so grow what you believe in, because it really helped me get to where I want To be with my knowledge and my labor and delivery, did

Trisha Ludwig
you know that you might want to go that direction with pregnancy and birth? I mean, we're not exactly mainstream on all things. And many women are not interested in giving birth in that empowered way. Or, or did you hear it? And did it kind of like, open your mind? You're gonna like huh piqued your curiosity and then you went down that path or did it just like click right away, like, this is where I need to go.

Taylor Dilk
It's interesting you say that because all my life I had envisioned having an unmedicated birth because my mom had one or had three with us, for she had the epidural with me, and she didn't have the best experience. And so just talking with her on like, both options, I felt very inspired by her. But I all I did had no idea how to go about it. Like I had no idea what to even do. So I was like, Yeah, I kind of want to go this route. But then after listening to you guys, I was able to actually have the tools to help me advocate for myself, get through it have the tools. So you kind of helped me prepare for something that I knew was possible in my mind, but just didn't quite know how to get there. What

Cynthia Overgard
mental shift started happening for you if that was how it all began? Yes.

Taylor Dilk
Okay. So it's interesting, because I was at a hospital that I think in one of your podcasts, you guys had laid out like things to ask your hospital, like when you when you go in? And so I started asking questions, and one of the things that they had answered was like, oh, C section rate is 40%. And for me, I was like, that was a huge red flag, and just something that wasn't aligning with what I wanted out of my birth. And so I was like, middle of my pregnancy, having to scramble to find somewhere new that kind of did align with what I wanted, like the midwife route, very role supporting for an unmedicated birth. And so I found a hospital here, where I live in Colorado, and completely, completely shifted everything. They were like, Why are you here? Why did you shift? I was like, Well, I want this type of birth. And they were like, Okay, we understand, we'll support you like, let's move towards that route. I will say, though, it is a hospital that has both OB and midwife. So there was a little bit of a split mindset. But long story short, it started going to that hospital felt much more aligned with what I wanted. And I continued the pregnancy. I started getting like prodromal, labor around six weeks out. And so I had no idea what that even was. And I thought for sure, like, Oh, I'm going to have this baby tomorrow, every single day. Because this contractions and it's just insane. And you've never felt it before. But after you know, those long, six weeks, I started to feel like okay, maybe he's not coming early. And maybe he's just going to maybe just very comfy in there. And we finally got to 41 weeks, I went into my 41 week appointment. And they switch off no matter what you have either midwife that day, or an OB which is very, I don't know if that's common. It is. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So I wish I could have asked you guys all the questions back then. But I went in and she was like, Well, we really don't want you to go past 42 weeks, let's schedule your induction and your will break your water. You know, if you're not quite there, that's okay. Like it, there's just so much risk associated with it. And I just I know from listening to you guys, all of the things that you've told me and coached us on, but then when you're in the moment, I also felt like, oh, maybe they know what's best. Like, I don't know how to continue to advocate for myself, like, sure, like, let's, let's schedule this induction. But in my heart, I was like, I don't know, this feels so misaligned with what I wanted. And then on the flip side, I was like, maybe I can get him to come early. So I don't need to go through, you know, the Pitocin and the water breaking the things that don't really align. And so, I was offered a sweep a membrane sweep. And it's funny because I have friends that absolutely hate it. I have friends that are like it does. I can't even feel it. Like it's totally fine for me. I don't know if you've guys have had that. But oh my gosh, it was not comfortable at all. But I knew like I wanted to do everything and have as minimal interventions as possible. So I did it. Went home started crazy contractions an hour later. And at the time we had just moved in five days prior to our new house. So there was Workers all around me and like, I just wasn't able to get in that mindset of like, I want to have this baby today. And I truly believe that affected me because later that night I the contractions started to slowly go away. So I was like, shoot, but then are kind new neighbors came in to our house and knocked on the door and they were like, Hey, we have a welcome basket for you. So we were chatting, and I was like kind of contracting but trying to hide it because I've, you know, like, person I was like, Yeah,

Trisha Ludwig
I'm in labor right now.

Taylor Dilk
Exactly.

Cynthia Overgard
No, I think you I think it would come off so much stranger to try the bending over breathing then just to say think I'm in labor. Why don't we make life so complicated for I don't

Taylor Dilk
know, like, Why do we feel like we have to be perfect. It's beyond me. But I was just hoping it was a quick top and hop out. And then in the middle of our conversation, I felt like a little trickle down leg up there.

Taylor Dilk
Like, thanks. Thanks for the basket. We're gonna go inside. And I look at Steve and I'm like, Steve, I think my water broke. And so I call my wife midwife. And she was like, okay, amazing. You, you are free to come in now. And I was like, Well, can I leave her at home a little bit? You know, this is where I'm comfortable. She's like, yes, but you need to come in, before 24 hours hits, because it can increase your risk of infection, which I did get an infection, we can talk about that. And I was like, and this was the this was, I think, an OB that was on staff talking to me. And I was like, okay, um, you know, I'll call you in the morning if anything happens. So long story short, I wake up, contractions are gone. It's 730. In the morning, I call the doctor and she's like, Yes, I understand that happens sometimes. But unfortunately, we do have to check and see if your water broke, and then start the Pitocin. And so after that call, I sat there and just like started bawling, because I felt like so many things were out of my control. And it's funny because you start your birth plan and you're like, I'm gonna be fluid and I'm gonna be fine with whatever happens. But then when you get there, and it's such a big moment in your life, you want it to go the way you want it to, you can't help but feel like so defeated. And just exhausted from maybe the prodromal labor and just your body's just like, feeling, again, just so defeated. But I had my moment. And I was like, Okay, this is maybe not meant in my path. Maybe I'm not supposed to do and automate unmedicated birth, for whatever reason. I'm gonna go in. So we pack our stuff, pack the car, my mom comes over to watch the dogs, we head to the hospital seven minutes away, I walk in, and the staff is just kind of staring at me like, this girl is not in labor. Why am I offering her a wheelchair? Like, I guess we'll put her in a room. They were expecting me. But you could tell they were just like, Okay, I'm just doing just going through the motions.

Cynthia Overgard
I want to make sure we're understanding. Yes, you were talking to the neighbor. And he sort of felt like you were in early labor. He did. How much later is this? And it was, it wasn't feeling any different, or it went away.

Taylor Dilk
It went away. So I don't know, I really feel like you can, at least for me, this is what happened. I put myself into labor the next day by just being in that mindset, and like really doing all the things to get my body prepared. Then he started to come. But the day before I just was like, there was so many things happening around me. We had just moved in there were so many people. We

Trisha Ludwig
should we should touch on that for a moment because you're exactly right. That is exactly what happened. In early labor, the nesting instinct starts to kick in for a mother and she needs to be in a quiet safe space for that to move her labor forward. When they're interruptions even going to the hospital but definitely moving recently, not feeling settled in your home having a brand new stranger neighbor come over feeling uncomfortable about what they're witnessing, all of those things are going to put your body into more of that, you know, fight or flight mode, and slow down and stop your labor. Until you get into that that space where you can feel relaxed, calm, trusting, secure and safe. If your body knows it goes back you know it's not going to happen. It just keeps kinda start stop start and stop.

Taylor Dilk
Do you think that's why to like, my mindset was like I want to be in this house. I want to like not have this baby right now. I do think that affected me going past It's my duty and me like, you know,

Trisha Ludwig
I would definitely say it influenced it, I, you know, the baby has a big role in this too baby has to be ready baby is a big part of triggering labor. But the signals come from the baby and then the mom's body needs to be responsive. So if you weren't in that space, then yeah, you can kind of hold it. Yes, yeah. And

Cynthia Overgard
the other way to the way it also plays into it is that your mind, your thoughts secrete hormones in your body, your thoughts affect your physiology, your thoughts can make your blood pressure change, your thoughts can make you happy, someone can say something loving or romantic to you and your entire physiology changes in your body opens. So the way nature has kept mammals protected all these years we've been giving birth, basically outside for 3 million years, is that if the mother had a single fearful thought, or experienced tension or stress, her cervix would tighten, and the oxytocin would go down. And catecholamines would be secreted instead, which tightens the cervix and prevents her from lying there helplessly if a predator is nearby, say. So we have to be in a place mentally and emotionally. And it's not uncommon to show up at the hospital. And suddenly to feel like labor isn't in progress anymore.

Trisha Ludwig
There's a very delicate balance between the interplay between the oxytocin and the stress hormones. And ultimately, the oxytocin has to rise up and the stress hormones have to decrease. But when a provider tells you that, you know, your baby's in danger, if you don't come in and 24 hours or that going past 42 weeks is going to have a really high risk of something horrible happening. Now, you know, oxytocin decreases and stress hormones come up. And I guess,

Taylor Dilk
looking back, that's interesting. I didn't think about the hospital telling me these things, moving in and trying to get everything done before baby maneuvers showing up. I mean, I guess. Now looking back, I think this next pregnancy, I know what to do to help move things along faster. But it is crazy how much connected your mind and your soul are to giving birth and the timing of it?

Cynthia Overgard
Well, if you think about it as the other side of having sex of conceiving, it's the same exact body parts, hormones, your brain is the most sexual organ by far sex would not be the same with every single man on earth, let's say right, the brain is either welcoming it or absolutely refusing it. And it's the same, it's the same relationship between the mind and the body. It's fascinating. So when a woman really is excited to have sex, feels loved feels a very deep sense of trust, above all emotions, her body completely transforms and opens for sex, her body changes as much as a man's body does, we don't appreciate it very much, but it does. And we need to open that much for labor to work optimally. It'll happen either way, because the baby needs to come out. But it's either smooth and comfortable and an easy flow, or there's a lot of resistance and even pain, because the body can be resisting it because she doesn't feel safe enough.

Trisha Ludwig
On the flip side of the sex conversation, if you're into it, and then something scary happens, or somebody opens the door and walks in the room. So it's off a partner says something mean, like yeah,

Unknown Speaker
you're like, done over drinks. Like,

Trisha Ludwig
there goes all the you know, the desire, everything shuts down stops, and yeah, it's over. Yeah, like

Cynthia Overgard
if someone walks in Yeah, it's like your child is walking in the room. It's like, and it's gone. Oh, my God.

Trisha Ludwig
No, not happening now. Not gonna happen. Maybe Maybe it'll happen later tonight. Maybe it will happen tomorrow. It is exactly the same thing with labor. Your that's so

Taylor Dilk
wild. I mean, we're not really taught that or told that or anything until you actually go through it and see how much your body does shut down. It's insane. Insane.

Trisha Ludwig
Remember, labor has been taken over by the system by the patriarchy over the last 100 years. We're not supported in believing that this is how it's supposed to go it has since the 40s and 50s we have wanted to manage a woman's labor and if we're managing it we we can't let her be in her flow. We're kind of dictating and controlling and

Taylor Dilk
that's exactly what you guys did for me was give me the tools and the mindset and the comfortability to get through this because everybody around me in the hospital that I was at was teaching me something completely different and it's hard when you haven't been through pregnancy and you're a first time mom you don't know what you don't know. Unless you have influences around you that actually tell you the real truth of it. So that's what you guys gifted me. But it is interesting because I when I got to the hospital, I got that saline lock and and they check to see if my water broke. And it hadn't. But that that sailing lock was so uncomfortable that they left the room and I looked at Steve as like I'm having this baby today I am not leaving. So they ended up sweeping me, they're like, we're gonna come back at noon, break your water start you on Pitocin. And I was just like, I don't want that. And being in that mindset of I'm having this baby, right now, I was able to get my body from a two centimeter all the way to active labor by 1030, we drew the blinds, we started moving on the ball, we got the mattress out, we turned on jazz music, we put the lavender around us. And I was able to progress because mentally I was I pushed myself and push myself. And my body finally opened. And it's crazy to think that because you have to, like make the decision of having that baby. And that's what I did. And I was able to get there. So at 1030 They came in, checked me I didn't want to know the number because I didn't want to be discouraged if it wasn't progressing fast enough. So I Yes, exactly.

Cynthia Overgard
So it's not helpful. It's not

Taylor Dilk
helpful if you know you have hours left, and you're just like,

Cynthia Overgard
I remember saying, my midwife said to me during my second birth, do you want me to check you? And I said no, because I can't bear to hear anything but 10. I don't, I didn't even want to hear your nine and you're getting close. I was like if she if I hear it. So I said no, don't even check me, I don't want to hear about it.

Trisha Ludwig
The other important thing to remember is that it doesn't matter what the number is like, even if it's kind of useless information. If you're seven, your mind, of course is going to think well, it took me this long to get from two to seven. So it's gonna take me this long to get from seven to 10. And no, that's true. You could be seven, and then you could be 1030 minutes later, or grasp

Taylor Dilk
fast. Exactly. And that's what I learned. There was really no point, I think, I think maybe looking forward, that's not something that I'll utilize because it just is uncomfortable. And then it's like, why am I doing this? And also, I did get an infection postpartum. So I wonder if all the checks did make me susceptible to that. And it was terrible. It was like I was on the bed for eight weeks after but I'm leaving. I don't know if I'll do that.

Cynthia Overgard
I'm just I have so many questions building up right now. Just quickly before we put that aside, you know what kind of infection that was? I

Taylor Dilk
don't know. But it was, it lasted for like right after labor. I got it.

Cynthia Overgard
I mean, Trisha was nodding the whole time. It definitely could have been from those vaginal exams. Trisha, why don't you jump in there?

Trisha Ludwig
Yeah, I mean, anytime. We don't just get infection from GPS GPS is just the one that has the most impact on a baby. But there are plenty of bacteria that can ascend into the uterus, specially through vaginal exams and breaking bags of water. That's how we get an am quarry called choreo amny. Itis, it's an infection of the the amniotic sac.

Cynthia Overgard
And it has to be introduced into a Trisha right? A woman can have her membranes released for days, and she's fine. Even ACOG is fine with that. But if someone goes up inside of the vagina, they can bring in the

Trisha Ludwig
right. That's how the bacteria ascends. Right? Most of the time. Yeah, it's not impossible to get an infection on you. Like with no vaginal exams, it's still it can still happen, but it's much, much less common. Okay,

Cynthia Overgard
and then tailor a couple of other things. First of all, your doctors were super high intervention like this whole talk of like, they really like breaking the water. That's, that's an that's an intervention I have a very hard time with. It's really not justified, virtually at all. But you had a little bit of amniotic fluid, leaking when you were speaking to your neighbor. And now we're hearing that your membranes were intact, they can kind of seal up again, if you think that's what happened, or did you have more to say about that whole

Taylor Dilk
mess? Yeah. So they saw when I went in the first thing, they did saline lock, let's check and see if your water broke. They checked and it wasn't broken. I think maybe some had trickled out. It was definitely defeating to hear but I knew that I didn't want to leave. So I think I agreed to the water, the breaking of the water and the Pitocin because I think mentally I knew I could potentially get myself there before they came in. But I am something someone that just like, I don't face it until I I'm in it. And so I was like okay, yeah, sure. Let's do this. Where I knew if it got to noon, and I didn't want to I could potentially like back out.

Cynthia Overgard
But can I add one more thing there because I'm not sure if you know this so I want to say it in case you don't know it. I want you to I want you to be informed for the next time and anyone who's listening. Are you aware that for the majority of women, their membranes do not release until after they're 10 centimeters

Cynthia Overgard
Exactly yeah, because it sounds like you were thinking oh no that I'm not in labor and most women go into labor full on with their membranes completely intact. Think about it's really common sense once we think about it, it's suddenly make sense to all of us, but we don't think about it. Think picture, picture yourself 10 centimeters. The head is there with the amniotic sac around it, the baby now has to break through it.

Taylor Dilk
So true. So true. I mean, that is, that is actually I believe what happened is when back didn't break until later.

Cynthia Overgard
Yeah, and that's, that's normal. That's common. And it sounds like they were indicating Oh, you're not in labor yet, which of course isn't the case at all, they really were. They were happy with those Amjad Amis at that place. They talked about it a lot. It's really odd Trisha, you

Trisha Ludwig
can also have a, you can also have a four bag that breaks, it's just like a smaller little like, bubble on the top of the sack that breaks and leaks just a little bit of fluid, where you can have like sometimes a small leak that seal back over. But to Cynthia's point, regardless of when your water breaks in labor, some people it breaks at five centimeters, some people have breaks and transition some people, it doesn't break until the baby is born. And those are the babies that are born in the call. It has nothing to do with the status of your labor. Got it being told that your water is in broken means absolutely nothing about what's happening with the progress of your labor.

Taylor Dilk
Right. And it's interesting too, because the person that was controlling my birth at the beginning was a different person that got there at noon. So the person that was telling me to do the breaking of the water and the Pitocin was the OB But the noon, the noon gal was a midwife that I had met one time before, which in the future, I'll probably do something different but completely different mindset completely different tactics. That

Cynthia Overgard
is crazy. How do these people end up working together? That's so unfair to the client. I mean, you should have a clue as to what the philosophy as far as your practice. And it shouldn't be a complete and total crapshoot as to who's on call? I mean, I you normally you hear of midwives who partner with OBS as being kind of more medical midwives. They're all on the same page. It's great that she wasn't but it's It's bonkers that she came in with a cloud No, you have nothing to worry about everything is fine. That's that can make us go a little crazy. And it's not fair. Because then you have the stress of wondering who you're going to get, oh,

Taylor Dilk
1,000% just dependent. Today,

Trisha Ludwig
it is a perfect example of why continuity of care is so important. Because when you're having continuous care with the same person, you build a trusting relationship with them. And you can count on what they're gonna say, you know that what they say is true, you know that when they tell you something, they're gonna stand by it. When you constantly have people changing direction, changing philosophy, changing practice, it's very confusing and difficult. And not as safe. Honestly, it's just not as good of care. You're

Taylor Dilk
not as comfortable like how am I supposed to be open of birthing a human with someone that I've never met before that I'm putting full trust in. So I think at that point, it was the better option of the two hospitals that I was looking at. And I had an amazing experience. And I loved the midwife. But I would that's one thing I would love to have in the future is the same person knowing exactly everything about me, because I'm like, I'm, I'm not someone who's like completely an extrovert either, where I'm gonna just perform this birth in front of a random person. So that's also a difficult thing for, for women to just be completely vulnerable in front of people they don't know. So I don't know if that's normal practice, but I was just rolling with it.

Trisha Ludwig
That is pretty much the standard of the hospital system, the way to get continuity of care is mainly through home birth, because hospitals have call schedules, practices that birth in the hospitals have called schedules. And there are a few practices like birth centers, and some practices where the midwife will kind of commit to being on call for their client, whatever it is, but that's tough to find.

Taylor Dilk
I love that it is tough to find. It's tough to find, I think next time I know the things I love the things I want to change. But that was a weird one. That was oh, it was

Cynthia Overgard
noon and the midwife and that was good news to you. Right? You saw it wasn't the doctor. It was somebody new.

Taylor Dilk
It was it was the the nurse came in at 1030. That's when she checked me and then she held up behind my back as I was laboring showed Steve a five. This is what Steve told me afterwards showed Steve a five and walked out. And then at noon, I don't remember this. It's all a blur. But Steve said they walked in the the midwife came in, which was a new care. And she's she checked me again or no, she didn't even check me. She looked at me and said, We don't need to do the Pitocin we don't need to break her water. She's in labor, and then walked out and then I just kept going and going and going. And I think just that part of the day is a huge blur to me. I remember because I took footage of it what happened but I all I wanted was jazz music I all I wanted to be was on my hands and knees gripping the floor mattress and having Steve by my side and that that was really how I got through it. Just breathing, breathing, breathing. And I remember, around 330 I was starting to get really, really tired, but my contractions were one or two minutes apart. And I all I wanted to do was nap and I look at Steve and I'm just like, I don't know if I can do this. Like, I think I want to get the epidural like I'm just in so much pain helped me. And he's like Taylor, you can do this, I know what you want for your, your birth. i You're You're the strongest person I know, like you can do this push through. And so I think that by having a support person by my side who supported exactly what I wanted, was so strong, and it's what helped me get through because doing it alone or with someone that's not aligned with you and your goals would be a completely different story. I needed that support right when I needed it. And he provided it to me. And so I just kept, I kept going. And my mom came in at 345 ish to drop off Chick fil A which is funny because I was like so adamant about eating during labor and delivery. I was like, I will be as like telling the nurses I will be eating I will be drinking but then when you're in it, I was like I couldn't even like a chicken finger. Like

Trisha Ludwig
it's the easiest labor food. It's

Taylor Dilk
easy, which I don't know if you guys have I mean Chick fil A is amazing. Yeah, not you want something quick. You need carbs you need, you need something. You can't be there chocolate and you have to chew on.

Cynthia Overgard
Yeah, and also protein. Anything a protein takes like at least four hours to digest. And if you have produce it takes like 20 to 40 minutes to digest. If you really want quick energy and enzymes you really want to eat quick, fresh,

Trisha Ludwig
fresh cut watermelon, orange

Cynthia Overgard
watermelons, coconut water, watermelon oranges, like those are the first things to try. And if you're really hungry because it's a long labor and you need a meal, then sit and have a whole meal but always go for the quick enzymes, the quick nutrients. That's when you get them in minutes. Yeah, in minutes and it like it and then your body isn't busy digesting. It's done digesting it can go back to the work of you know, birthing your baby

Taylor Dilk
birthing the baby.

Cynthia Overgard
It takes that away as well. Turns out

Trisha Ludwig
Chick fil A will work in early labor, just not when you're in active labor. Yeah,

Taylor Dilk
active labor. You don't really know that. It's you're not going to really have that time to eat between contractions. You're like Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo. Oh my gosh, you know, it's crazy. So looking forward, if there's anything anyone's listening to right now watermelon, that sounds good. I'll kind of water coconut water, love.

Cynthia Overgard
Now just start with those. See if it satisfies you. You can always have more after but more different food after. I love them. Okay, so what happened? My

Taylor Dilk
mom I wasn't I was not adamant about anybody being there, except Steven. I was like, I just wanted to be Steve. I wanted to be so special. But then my mom got there and I don't know if I felt a sense of like security fell sense of with her being through it, she could help me get through it but I wanted her to stay. And I like holding her hand in Steve's hand and the two working together. Because you know Steve only knows what he knows he's never seen childbirth either. So while he was so amazing, I think also having someone that's been through it was really helpful for him too. So they were bouncing off each other. They were helping me get into different positions and I really firmly believe that your support system is the thing that helps you get through at least for me as a as a person who needs like that affirmation like love language.

Cynthia Overgard
I also just think I think it's also so beautiful how men can give us strength and when and women can give us strength and they can't do it for each other. There are times we want the big strong arms around us and the chest to lie on and that feeling of physical security with a man but you we absolutely get so much strength only from other women and isn't supposed to be able to do it's okay that he can't but we get it from women and it makes sense that we Perth with the women and we have through history. It makes sense that they're with us when we're breastfeeding when we're birthing we get so much strength and comfort only from women in that regard. It's so make sense that you got something from each of them that the other one couldn't give you.

Taylor Dilk
That's so true because at something I didn't think about like I thought Steve would be that only person I need but there is a sense of like you don't white know exactly what I'm going through. Do you know that I could get through Just because you've not been able to get through it, he's not a woman. Exactly. Whereas this, this person was, has done it before. So just knowing that she's done, it really gave me like competence and security. So I was, the synergy was really great. The nurses that came in that day, I think there were three rounds. I was kind of vibing with, I mean, kind of not really vibing with they weren't really, I think when you go into that type of environment, you say you want an unmedicated birth, they don't really believe you, because I don't think I think that a lot of the times people will say it, but it doesn't go that way. And so they were like, yeah, yeah, okay, that sounds good. But as I started to go through it, I started to get a little bit better support through the nurses. And they're like, Hey, do you want? Do you want something to take the edge off? Do you want? Is it nitric oxide oxide? Is that what's called? Nitrous? I was like, yes, like, let's try it. I've heard from my friends, that it's great. Let's do it. So I was breathing in between, but then on one minute later, I felt extremely nauseous. So they came in and they were like, Do you want some Zofran to help with the nausea? And I was like, Sure, but only half a dose. Just like so adamant about Zofran don't know why

Cynthia Overgard
this is so classic, they give you one thing, and then they need to give you something else to temper or like to take the edge off, or to balance the risk of the other thing and

Trisha Ludwig
to mitigate the side effects, mitigates

Cynthia Overgard
a side effect. Exactly, exactly.

Taylor Dilk
Which I, my body was not driving with that until I got the Zofran. I got the Zofran. Honestly, I'm really happy. I did both. Personally, I was I was open to it, going into the experience. And so I think that's also what helped my mind. I was like, Yes, I kind of knew I might do this. So it did help me get through those contractions, I don't know, because it was like a distraction or what, but it really helped ease a little bit of the pain. By that point, I think it was about 7pm. And I started to just feel very exhausted, I had been laboring since 8am, I believe, are trying to get into that labor, active labor started at like 11. But it was seven and I started to get really exhausted. So I was just praying that we were close. And I had no idea because of course, I didn't know how far I was dilated. But I remember like laying my top of my body I was standing but my top of my body was like laying over the bed. And I looked down this is a little graphic. And I saw a couple of trickles of blood on the floor. And I know that's probably might sound weird to people. But for me, it was like a spark of energy and a spark of like, okay, he is coming like this is close, I can do this, it gave me a jolt of motivation and energy to actually get through it. So there's

Trisha Ludwig
a little sign from your body that you're progressing. And that is definitely all you need in labor or little bits of encouragement to just get through the next one. It makes it feel real.

Cynthia Overgard
You know, we sometimes we're in labor, and somehow we're so in our body. And what we're feeling we really lose sight of the fact that there's a baby in labor with us is on its way out. It's like the little drop of blood is like there's a lot happening in here and something's coming out. It's like it's on the way out. Did it kind of feel that way? Oh,

Taylor Dilk
1,000%. It's like, oh, wait, yes, I'm in I'm again, so in my body, and you're so inexperienced, but then that little thing of like, Oh, there's another human coming like you can do this is right when I needed it, which is wild. And again, another god thing. So I kept going, kept going, we're doing all these different positions. And I think around 730 All of a sudden, I felt a lot of pain. And I like felt like I couldn't get through it. So this magical nurse came in. She was the nurse of the day that I really felt very connected to and it was perfect timing because she was who I needed the most nurse wise, because she really understood what I wanted out of my birth and just completely the energy that we had together helped me get get to my end goal a lot better. So I think between Steve my mom and her at the end, it was huge. She realized that Dallas was sunny side up. So what she had Steve do was counterpressure take my hips, raise them and all of a sudden Dallas flipped. And I was so happy at that moment. 20 seconds later, I literally started like my body started pushing. So I was like oh my gosh, you know it's happening. I want to push and they're like, hold on, hold on, hold on. We're not quite ready. The midwife comes in and we start we start doing it we start going in all these different positions no matter what my body was liking, we tried to sideline, we tried like on the floor we tried holding a pole And we just started to really kind of work with my body. And something I found interesting was when, when they would tell me to push every single time, it was never aligned with my body. I was like, I'm not ready, like I'm not pushing. And then I would only push when my body felt that involuntary push, which is wild, because I know that if I had the epidural, I wouldn't have quite experienced it to that depth. And so when they would tell me to push, I just would kind of like tune it out and do my own thing and work with my own body to kind of like, breathe through and really like push all the way through down my body.

Cynthia Overgard
That's great. Important that, yeah, very important.

Taylor Dilk
And then I think towards the last five minutes, I had one push, and I was just getting really exhausted. And the midwife could tell that I needed like, extra support at that time. So she took Steve, she was like, go behind Taylor and support her on the bed. Because I was I was like sideline on the bed. So she had him go behind me to like hold me, which was really cool. And a great experience. To just like, really, I needed a physical touch, I think at that point in strength. And so I did one final push, and his head kind of like got stuck. And I was I didn't know if I had it in me. But I gave one last and then all of a sudden, he came out, held him in my arms and just bald, it was really beautiful.

Trisha Ludwig
And he went straight to your chest and you got your skin to skin.

Taylor Dilk
Yep, skin to skin straight to my chest. He let Steve cut the cord, I think like, a few minutes after he latched on really easily. And honestly, I could not have asked for a better outcome. Everybody in the room was working on the same energy, the same goal. No matter it started off, completely different. But having just like working with everybody, and having everybody know what I wanted. And like really showing them that I could do this, I think shifted everyone's mindset into just being completely present in the moment. And it was it could not have turned out better. Like I'm very grateful that experience was truly insane. And there's nothing in the world that prepares you for when you actually like, hear your baby crying and fold them for the first time. It's just, it is a miracle. It's the coolest thing ever.

Trisha Ludwig
I think the turning point in your story was the moment when you close the blinds, Put on the music got out your sense, and you made your space safe for you. And from there, it just kind of was a smooth sail 1,000% 1,000%,

Taylor Dilk
which I like you can only say so many times your body will work with your mind and stuff. But until you actually experienced that your body completely doing what it's meant to do when you feel safe and you feel ready. It's it really is. It's insane what your body can do. And I think like before going in, I wanted to make sure that they allowed the tools that I wanted had the tools that I needed. And I had to make sure that if it was a hospital birth, it was as like natural as I could make it. So

Cynthia Overgard
I liked that all throughout your birth. And even late in pregnancy, you really listen to your intuition, despite what they were saying to you, even to the end point when they were telling you how to push and you still weren't listening. And it also seems like you were identifying things that you learned. I'm trying to gather in my mind all the things you learned from this very good experience, you learned that you would seek continuity of care next time, you learned that you want to listen to your body leading with your pushing. What else would you say you learned from this birth you would take into your next

Taylor Dilk
I would say that life throws weird curveballs at you did I expect to move in five days before and have our house delayed? Like all these things I didn't expect but I think the next one having my life be as calm as I can make it. At least like a couple of weeks out from my due date, I think will be a game changer because now I really do know that your body and your mind work together. And if something is off in your life, your body's not going to respond. It's not going to get to where you want to go. So like making the conscious effort of having a little bit of a relaxed life around me will help progress things to get to where I want to go. I think to just knowing like, before you go when you're a new mom when you're pregnant for the first time, you get all these outside voices that think they know better than then the mom and dad Now going through it I knew all along what was the right choice for me and my baby and my birth and my body and so I think moving forward standing a little more firm that I know what's right because I have that confidence now. It will be a complete game changer for the next one

Thank you for joining us at the Down To Birth Show. You can reach us @downtobirthshow on Instagram or email us at Contact@DownToBirthShow.com. All of Cynthia’s classes and Trisha’s breastfeeding services are offered live online, serving women and couples everywhere. Please remember this information is made available to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is in no way a substitute for medical advice. For our full disclaimer visit downtobirthshow.com/disclaimer. Thanks for tuning in, and as always, hear everyone and listen to yourself.

Taylor Dilk
you guys like I know your this is your like one of your purposes in your lives. And I just want you to know that you're doing an amazing job and changing people's lives. Like I really don't know if if I didn't have the knowledge that I did going into that birth, you know that they were trying to kind of push me around with their decisions even if it was a midwife, and more like the natural. If I didn't listen to your guys's episodes, I would not have been prepared. So you guys are doing the good work and I just could not say enough great things.