#132 | October Q&A: Postpartum Hemorrhage at Home; Conceiving with PCOS; Kegels; Baths with Ruptured Membranes; Labor Positions with Spinal Issues; Length of Labor Variations; Coffee in Pregnancy; Postpartum Feels

October 27, 2021

It's that time of the month! We are back with our October Q&A. Today, we begin with a recap of fundal massage and postpartum bleeding as Trisha shares a story of postpartum hemorrhage at a recent home birth. Next we jump into our questions including: Can midwives help with pre-conception care and fertility, especially when it comes to PCOS? When should I start kegels after giving birth? Is it ok to take a bath after waters have released? What causes postpartum night sweats? Are there any special positions for labor if you have spinal issues such as scoliosis or spinal fusion? Why does the length of labor vary so much among women? Can I drink coffee in pregnancy? And finally, we wrap with a recap of feelings shared by one woman in our weekly postpartum support group. 

Check out the chapter markers to skip to specific questions. 

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View Episode Transcript

How well positioned is your baby in your uterus. How low is your baby? In your uterus? How much pressure is that head putting on your cervix? Because that's the thing that creates dilation house is messy. I see other moms look so much happier when I look at social media, like they all have the stories in their heads about how they're inadequate. As a wife, as a mother, this question comes up so often people are so worried.

I'm Cynthia Overgard, owner of HypnoBirthing of Connecticut, childbirth advocate and postpartum support specialist. And I'm Trisha Ludwig, certified nurse midwife and international board certified lactation consultant. And this is the Down To Birth Podcast. Childbirth is something we're made to do. But how do we have our safest and most satisfying experience in today's medical culture? Let's dispel the myths and get down to birth.

Hello, and welcome to our monthly q&a episode on this beautiful October day. How are you Trisha?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm great. I know you wanted to start by sharing an experience you had at a home birth you attended a couple days ago?

Yes, I thought this would be interesting to share, because we've been getting a lot of questions through Instagram and through the podcast talking about fumble massage. And we've been talking about the use of Pitocin and fundal massage and saying how that the evidence actually doesn't support that the use of fundal massage in combination with Pitocin is necessary. So funnel massage is the practice of taking your hand post birth and putting it on top of the uterus to one, check that the fundus is firm and to massage it if it is not. So it's a technique for helping to slow down the bleeding after birth and making sure that the fun the uterus is doing its job of contracting. So you're massaging the top of the uterus to make sure it's contracting. This is this is you know, babies born plus sent us out now we're wanting we're monitoring the mother for bleeding. And in most cases, mothers are getting a shot of Pitocin. Or they've had Pitocin in their IV because they had an IV and it's already you know, maybe they were getting induced or augmented. And they've had Pitocin onboard. If they have not, they might be getting an intramuscular injection in the thigh of Pitocin to help manage the bleeding. Now, if they are not getting that Pitocin you might use fundal massage to help slow down the bleeding and make the uterus contract. If you have been given the Pitocin the evidence does the evidence says that you don't need to do both. So that's what we've been talking about. Now. I was at a berth this past weekend. And it happened to be one of your past HypnoBirthing clients that you taught her she's right it was her third baby, but you taught her HypnoBirthing with her first and I knew that when I walked in the room because she had all the HypnoBirthing mantras posted around the room. And I was like I bet this is one of Cynthia clients telltale sign. Yes, now she was in labor. So I didn't obviously ask her but we talked about it later. Anyway, I wanted to share this because this was a case where fundal massage became necessary even after Pitocin. And I would not have felt comfortable not doing anything in this situation. So she had her baby, beautiful birth. And placenta came out within like 15 minutes, everything was looking fantastic, you know, skin to skin with the baby. She was bleeding pretty heavily. And it it went on for a while would stop. And then it would come back. And then it would stop and it would come back. And finally after an hour almost. We decided to give her a Pitocin she ended up actually getting two rounds of Pitocin in the thigh and she was still bleeding. So at this point, we were using the lead midwife I was the birth assistant at this birth, she was using her hand to really make sure that fundus was contracting. And the fundal massage became necessary because there were clots forming in the top of her uterus that were not being pushed out even with the Pitocin. And the fundal massage became necessary to get those clots out so that the uterus could actually contract. How did you know there were clouds, because if she wouldn't massage the uterus, they would come out, these large clots would come out. And if you have clotting in there that's stuck in the top of the uterus or anywhere in the uterus that can't properly contract. So I just wanted to share the story as an example of this is why you need a skilled provider and even though in general, the evidence does not say that you need to do fundal massage if you've had Pitocin when you have abnormal bleeding, even with Pitocin on board, you're going to do what is necessary to stop the bleeding and that may sometimes be fundal massage and it was necessary. In this case, that's great. It's interesting how the universe handed you that experience right after we've been getting all these questions after talking about, and this this, you know, this mom, she just kept using her HypnoBirthing mantras to help her body, you know, stop the bleeding. I mean, if she had had one more round of bleeding, we would have been transferring for a postpartum hemorrhage. But she was very focused and determined. And that was it after that little rounded second dose of Pitocin, the fundal massage, the clots were all out and she barely bled a drop again after that. That's great, beautiful birth, oh, my gosh, her family was amazing. She had sisters and mother and mother in law and cousins and father, wonderful pulled up in the driveway, and they were about 10 cars in the driveway and like, is going on here.

You better learn how to do everything. If you're going to give birth with that many people around you. It's beautiful, better learn how to go within that is beautiful. Yeah, it's just another good example of how it's so tempting. When people start learning from us that they want to say, Well, so is Pitocin. Bad. So is it bad to be induced? And you want or should I do fundal massage or not, you know, yes or no, and it's complex, and even Pitocin. I mean, we are big advocates for not on having an unnecessary induction and not having Pitocin unnecessarily. And in, I believe in one week, we're publishing a whole episode dedicated to Pitocin. There's a lot to learn about it and understand, but you do have these situations where it is absolutely necessary. So we always want to be open and receptive to every single intervention like cesarean section, the big question is, you know, you don't want an unnecessary and you want to have been the interventions, if and when they're needed. That's why education is important, so that you can help to know when it really is needed.

And I think it just re emphasizes how important it is to have that trust in your provider, you know, you it isn't black and white, it isn't like don't touch the fundus, if you had the Pitocin. Right, in this situation, it it took the knowledge and experience of a skilled provider to know the best way to manage this. It's not from purely from research and the science and the, you know, randomized controlled trials, you take your personal experiences, and your wisdom and your intuition. And you put a lot together to make the situation work. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, just seemed like appropriate, given how much we've been talking about that. Yeah. Well, we even got another question this week about whether fundal massage was necessary. So we can refer them back to our last q&a episode, along with the comments that you just made. I think that kind of covers it, probably because it's hard to say yes or no. Is it necessary? It just shouldn't be routine, I guess is always the takeaway, right? Exactly. Right. Right. Right. Had the mother not been bleeding in that way, then the fundal massage would not have been necessary. But it became necessary based on the clinical picture.

And that's when the birthing mother can go from believing she doesn't want something like fundal massage to being grateful for it because she recognizes it as necessary or beneficial. And that's how I think we really should feel when we have intervention. If you're feeling grateful for the intervention you're about to have. It's because you know that it's necessary. We believe it is right. I will also say that in that moment, she did not care what the risks of Pitocin injection were. So in trying to give her informed consent. He was basically like, stop talking and give me a shot.

Because because she knew that that's what I'm saying. Yeah, she knew she was going to the hospital if we didn't write the next step. So all the risks of getting chosen injection went out the window didn't matter. The risk of the hospital to her was too great.

So alright, so what's on the agenda? All right. So well, we got a wonderful review and that I thought was really sweet and wanted to read it. Before we get into our questions. So I will start with that. This review came in from Laura Rogers and she she actually just saw it this morning. I was like, Oh, I'm gonna read that. She says cannot get enough exclamation point of us. I think of the podcast. I guess that's us. Takes us. Okay, she cannot get enough of us. I'm midway through my second pregnancy following an extremely hard and unsatisfying first birth experience and listening to this podcast has been a balm for my heart. My fears and frustrations from the past have been validated and my trust in all of my body and its inherent wisdom and design is at an all time high. Love that. Every concern or question I have is covered in some episode in a way that is helpful and clear and reassuring. I only wish I had discovered this wealth of knowledge the first time around, but as I plan a redemptive and healing second birth, I know I will be able to make peace with my trauma and enjoyment next birth in a whole new way. Thanks to these two women so nice of her to take the time to do that and let us hear her her positive thoughts. So sweet, beautiful. I hope we hear about her pregnancy. I hope we hear about her birth now. Alright, so let's get to our question, shall we?

We shall. All right, first question of the morning begins. Hi, ladies. I love your podcast you give me so much education and empowerment. Thank you. I had a question. I have been trying to conceive since March after going off the pill and so far have been unsuccessful. I do have PCOS and had expected this to be an issue. You speak a lot about using midwife during pregnancy and birth is there such thing as using a midwife or somebody other than my OB GYN for the conceiving process. My sister is currently pregnant and uses the same OBGYN who long story short scheduled a C section for her at 39 weeks because the baby was too big. Based on the experience of my sister is based on the experience my sister's having with her I am uneasy about continuing to work with her. I have only ever gone to her for thus far for annuals. Any advice on trying to conceive without an OBGYN?

What do you think she means by saying conceiving without an OBGYN? Do you think she she doesn't mean fertility? She means. I mean, I conceived without an OBGYN. You definitely don't need an OBGYN. So no, seriously?

Sorry to be in the room? No, yes. I do believe that's what she means. Because she says she has PCOS. And she has been unsuccessful since March after getting off the pill. So she's talking about getting some support with getting button it?

Wouldn't she go to a fertility specialist for that rather though major?

Not necessarily yet. Usually, you know, people wait six or 12 months before they go for any type of fertility consult.

I know but what I'm saying is what could an OBGYN even do? If someone is trying to conceive? What can an OB even do in that process to be supportive? You don't? What could they do to make conception go more smoothly for her?

Oh, they might give her they could give her OBGYN can also do very, very basic. First line fertility things give some hormones to help support fertility. I think that's what she's meaning like, do I need to have an OBGYN or can a midwife also help me in the process of conceiving? I would say that if you have PCOS and you're having trouble getting pregnant, then I would see a women's health specialist who has natural methods of supporting fertility. Like maybe a naturopath who specializes in women's health, or a midwife who specializes in women's health and can offer you some supplements do some hormone testing, see what's out of balance and what can be rebalanced. There's lots of herbs and supplements that are naturally supportive of fertility. And you don't necessarily need to go to a fertility specialist at this point. And your OBGYN might offer you hormones, or some hormonal testing. But a midwife or a naturopath can do that as well.

I think that's a great idea. Naturopath specializing in fertility is an excellent idea because I would begin their holistic providers, they're not going to just see one thing like just herbs or just nutrition, and they can look at blood tests. And they can they can provide so much. But acupuncture also has an extremely high rate of fertility success, so and they also can prescribe Chinese herbs if you're interested in herbs. So yeah, definitely add acupuncture to that list.

And you're also mentioning that you're not feeling good about your sister's experience with this OBGYN and you are already feeling uneasy. So you might as well just cut the ties now. Go find a midwife. And they absolutely can help you in the fertility process, at least in the early stages.

When this woman wrote that her sister's baby was born by C section because the baby was too big. She put too big in quotes, which tells you a lot about this. This woman who writing into us that she that she didn't buy it, and hopefully her sister feels deeply at peace with all of her choices. But clearly this wouldn't be the right provider for her because she used those quotation marks, we know that she has another opinion on the matter. So the right providers are out there to support you for sure. Get creative because more out there than you might be aware of. So sometimes I meet people and I'm, you know, nutritionist who specializes in fertility or body workers who specialize in fertility and there's a world out there.

Yeah, there is a lot that can be done as far as conceiving and fertility before you go to hormonal or in vitro or IVF or anything like that. So So I just want this woman to know that if she does leave Her OB GYN and go for a midwife she can get her annuals done there as well. Midwives do provide the routine GYN care.

Oh, yeah. Birth control the works. Yes, breast exams, all of it, all of it. And you won't have to wear the little No kidding. Don't do that, then sometimes you do actually some no paperwork. And you do not, you never have to wear the gown. Don't ever put that on your body.

Yeah, and just one final point I want to say about this is that stress is a significant inhibitor to conception. And I can't help but feel the need to say just be really aware. I mean, Trisha was just talking about mantras. And there, they seem like this unsubstantiated thing out there. But your beliefs really do direct what's going on in your body. So envision conception, feel excited for conception, be positive about conception while you're going and doing all of these things, rather than repeating PCOS in your head or, and the language even that you use so far have been unsuccessful. So that might be another way to phrase that, right. Like my body is preparing to conceive. But I can't help but say just be really mindful of how people speak to you, and how you're speaking to yourself about this. So just get excited because all these things you're about to do to increase the likelihood of conception are things you haven't done before. So there's a lot of reason to shift your thinking into a much more anticipatory positive state. It since stress is an inhibitor to conception, we know that our emotional state plays a very big role.

Great point. Yes. Agree. All right. All right. What do we have next? Next question.

You want to read? Sure. Is it okay to labor in a living room and have to take the stairs after giving birth? If you birth at home?

That's such a well, I mean, question. This one. No, it's not.

It's not okay to birth in the living room have to take the stairs, I was sure you'd say yes. And be careful. Look at this. Okay, go ahead, okay, to birth in your living room, it is not okay to take the stairs. So if you birth in your living room, and I've had this happen many times, sometimes people just don't want to give birth in their bedroom, there's not enough space for a tub or whatever the reason it doesn't feel like the right space, they want to be in their living room, you must stay in your living room for the first 24 hours. So you have to bring an air mattress down there, some sort of bed for you to go into after the birth and you cannot go up those stairs until at least 24 hours later. It's just too much. It's just what we advise at home birth. It's just a little too much to try to hike stairs after you've just given birth. You need because of bleeding. Yeah, and your you know, bleeding tend to be weak and lightheaded. And it's not safe. It's better to just give your body some time to adjust and go up the stairs the next day.

And how soon Trisha can a woman skip steps going upstairs? And how soon can we run up as soon as you're ready to have sex again, whenever that may be.

Okay. Oh, that'll be a while? That'll be a while.

Yeah, so No skipping stairs. Yeah, that's that's a that's a great question. So if you give birth at home in your living room, please be prepared to stay there for 24 hours.

That sounds comfortable. That's my advice. I hope this doesn't discourage her from birthing in the living room. Sounds like she has a preference for that. So it's it's not that's not a tall order to just stay down there for a day. It's kind of cozy and fun. It's could be a really special part of the story me experience.

So yeah, I've seen lots of women do it. And they set up camp down there. And sometimes they stay even for a few more days, and you're close to the kitchen. And that's nice, too. Alright, the next one says, When should I do key goals? Postpartum Trisha, we just taught our fourth trimester workshop. And a woman asked you that same question a couple days ago, the workshop that's running. This question comes up so often people are so worried about giggles, it's it's it doesn't matter. You can do the Kegel, whenever, during a kegel, when it feels good to do a kegel start, keep going, you absolutely do not need to start doing them right after birth. You don't even need to do them in the first couple of days. But you can, you do probably want to start doing some key goals at some point after birth, you do want to get your pelvic floor strength back and keep those are a great way to do that. But there's no rule about it. You might not even even if you tried to do a kegel in the days or hours right after birth, you probably wouldn't be able to. So you can kind of test it out. And as you start being able to flex and contract those muscles again, then it's time to start building on that strength.

Yeah, after giving birth, even in the days later, if you even think of a kegel just nothing happens.

Yeah, you probably won't be able to do anyway. Oh, I guess it's not time to Kegel yet. And then one day you'll do it. You'll be like, Oh, I can kind of do it.

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On the next one says Why do I sweat so much at night after having a baby? Is that a thing?

If people tell you you don't remember sweating after an hour? Not really no night sweats. You didn't have to, like ever change your nightgown?

No, not at all. But I was always trending cold anyway, typically. But no, I definitely I definitely didn't. Well, it's very common. Isn't that common? They're gone everyone though, right?

I feel like it's most people but it's clearly not everyone. There's so many conversations where it's like didn't happen to didn't happen to me. There's so we have so many. Like, I didn't have morning sickness. I didn't vomit in transition. I didn't. There's so many stories where I'm this thorn in the conversation. I'm like, really? I've never even heard of that.

You've never had a PMS symptom.

Oh, that's true. I don't PMS either. Yeah, I'm a little bit of a no, I'm usually non hormonal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's let's just let's just put it this way. When I'm angry. There's a really good reason. I didn't lose hair. Remember that conversation? I never had hair fall out. You said it was so common. I was like hair falls out? I've heard people say that. So it's What'd you just say? It's twofold. It's twofold.

One, I was going to say that we should, we'll have to pull our community on this and see how many women actually experienced night sweats after having a baby, because it'd be amazing to see. Yeah, and to there's two reasons one, right after you give birth, you have a lot of extra fluid on board from having been pregnant for nine months. And so your body is in a high mode of diuresis, meaning getting rid of extra fluid, so you pee a lot more, and you sweat a lot more. And it particularly happens at night. It is also related to the changes the massive shift in hormones related to breastfeeding. So as after you give birth, you have this rapid decline in progesterone, and a rise in prolactin. And night sweats are very, very common. Because of that hormonal shift, and it can last for weeks. And it doesn't mean anything is wrong. It can be annoying. You might have to get up and change your night shirt or night gown or whatever you wear to bed. Sometimes women even have to change their sheets, it can be that much.

How many days does that last? Is it just the day or two after giving birth? Are you saying it's part of the whole last trimester it can last for weeks?

I had no idea. Even months, but it won't necessarily happen every single night. But it is much more common in those early days because you're also getting rid of the extra fluid from being pregnant.

Alright, I'm going to throw a quick question on Instagram. You're pulling them right now. I'm gonna do it. Yeah, by the end of the episode and say, can you tell everyone what the results are? Right. Cool. That'd be fun. Then we'll see just how unusual I am. Or if maybe fewer women have night sweats than you'd think.

So did your mom have any menopausal symptoms?

No, none. Not at all? Nothing. No, not at all.

Yeah. Genetic. She doesn't have Yeah. Give me a minute. I'll get something up. All right, done. So we'll see in a little while what the people have to say about night sweats.

Yes, that'd be fun to know. Okay. Cool. All right. Next question. Is it is it okay to take a bath once a woman's waters have released?

Can I guess? It's fine. It's fine. Because that's your water birth right? It's fine.

Yes, I mean, think we give birth and water and our water is broken. And there is actually there has actually been a study done somewhere along the way to test to see if any water gets up. inside the uterus if your water is broken, and it doesn't, and we wouldn't expect it to. So yes, it is totally safe to take a bath if your water's broken, but you cannot have sex. If there's no sex, no matter how much you want to have sex, know that something in the vagina, if your water is broken, it was funny about that. Like, all that, like all the things they had like obstetricians and midwives, putting their hands in a lot, or rupturing membranes, they're putting plenty of things in there. Well, they believe that they're putting things in your vagina with purpose when they're doing a vaginal exam. But for the most part, we want to keep things out of the vagina if the water is broken, because every time we introduce anything into the vagina, we are increasing the risk of getting an infection inside the uterus, or in labor, we don't want that.

But water doesn't count as something that can get inside. No, because it doesn't go, it doesn't ascend into your uterus doesn't go up in to your uterus.

Alright, let's see what's next. This is a, this is a question from one of my clients, Trisha, and I told her, You are going to be in a better position to answer it than I. And the question is for women with scoliosis, or a spinal fusion, what are the best positions for giving birth?

I mean, I guess it depends on the severity of things and what their mobility is like, sideline would be a great option, I'm sure that they would be most comfortable in a sideline position. All Fours hands and knees might also work well. So is giving birth, she also says is giving birth for these women similar to those without these conditions? And I would say yeah, pretty much it is unless it is. Well, she said scoliosis, spinal fusion. So this can be two different things. But unless it's really affecting the tailbone, and there is lack of mobility in the coccyx, or the tailbone, that could impact things. Because that tailbone does need to be able to move out of the way as the baby comes through. But the rest of your spine really isn't that involved in the birth process. You know, it affects your mobility, your own positioning, but you can give birth on your side, you can be enhanced knees, you probably don't want to be on your back, because that's not the best position in general. And it's probably the least comfortable. Even squatting might work. There really isn't any big difference. I don't think that there is unless it's low in the low lumbar or tailbone area. That would just potentially make it a little bit more difficult as the baby comes through. Because that tailbone does need to have mobility to move out of the way. In that case, I would say probably definitely hands and knees or sideline is going to take some pressure off the spine.

Alright, what accounts for the variations in how long women are in labor? Why does this vary so much? Among women? Many reasons from Yeah, yeah, there's no simple let's name them all. Well, the first thing, the first thing I just want to say, that I've said a million times is, because childbirth is an art and it's not a science. Just like you can have sex for five minutes, or you can have sex for an hour and a half. You know what? It's an art. But there are factors that do go into this. So Trisha want to start naming the first one coming to the top of your mind.

Well, the first thing that accounts for variations in how long women are in labor, or whether they're first time birthing mother or subsequent babies. So first time Labor's almost always take longer than subsequent, not me the grand exception again, I did it again. Remember, your size was longer than your by my from the moment I woke up Eric and said, I don't think I'm in labor, but don't go to work today. I was holding Alex three hours and one minute later. And then my labor with Vanessa had a more nebulous start. I wasn't 100% Sure. When I called Amy. I was like, I'm not sure I'm in labor. But I called her and then I had Vanessa about five and a half hours after that. So yeah, my second labor was longer because I'm the big anomaly here, huh?

Well, okay, that's funny. It's not always, especially when the first birth is so short. It's hard to top.

Yeah, yep, definitely. And you had an unusually short first birth? That's Yes. Short.

But yes, you're right. Statistically, it's far more common for the second for a subsequent baby to come more quickly. So what else goes into this? The mother's position definitely goes into it. Epidural use is known to slow Labor's because it makes labor a little less efficient. Fetal positioning is probably one of the big ones. How low is your baby? In your uterus? How much pressure is that head putting on your cervix? Because that's the thing that creates dilation is the head pressure of the head on the cervix? So if the head is not engaged well in the pelvis and not putting even good pressure on your cervix, you're going to dilate more slowly. So fetal positioning is probably the second most important thing. Next would be the mother's ability to be upright and mobile. You know, if she's not able to move sufficiently to help her baby get into the best position that can slow labor. And that's one of the reasons that epidurals slow down labor, then you just have genetics, right? I mean, just the way our bodies work, our bodies, our bodies, all functions so differently, it varies a lot. Nobody can say, and, you know, there's no real predictability to it, you can't look at a woman and be like, you're gonna have a fast birth, you're gonna have a long birth.

Certainly not. And the final point is, this is why we just don't want to worry about it. You want to put your focus on, you know, your position, baby's position. But mainly, the best thing you can do is to not think about how long labor will last or what labor will feel like, but how you will respond, how you will keep yourself in a relaxed state so that you can dilate more comfortably and easily.

And outside of the external variables like your position, your baby's position, medication, use epidural, all that stuff. We can't neglect the emotional piece. And if you haven't heard Cynthia's mini episode on how fear affects labor, that would be great to listen to because our mental state and the environment that creates our mental state, whether we feel safe or not safe, where we're giving birth can absolutely have a major impact on length of labor.

Episode 110 110. All right. Is it okay to drink a cup of coffee every day throughout pregnancy? What did you think she means caffeinated is that oh, yeah, I presume?

Yes. She definitely means caffeinated. Because otherwise why would she be asking me if it's not because I guess I'm asking because I can't tell the difference between caffeinated and caffeinated coffee. Can you? Can you? Of course, how it doesn't affect me. Yeah, no, no. So I don't really notice.

Oh, caffeine. I could Yes, I would. Definitely. Yes. And decaffeinated coffee doesn't even taste good.

All right, if you put enough cream and sugar because of ice cream, it's great. I like my coffee like I like my wine needs to be robust, pure, black, flavorful. No cream and sugar. Don't ruin it with that. Alright. Okay. Anyway, the general consensus is that yes, you can drink coffee in pregnancy. At one point, I believe there was even some some information out there that said up to five cups a day was safe. Now what is safe, right? What are we looking at? What are we evaluating? More recently, there has been some information. ACOG actually has a position on caffeine consumption and pregnancy and says that moderate caffeine consumption, which would equate to less than 200 milligrams per day, or about two cups of coffee does not seem to appear to have any impacts on the baby. Mostly what they're looking at is miscarriage and intrauterine growth restriction. So I think, I would say and as a midwife, I have, you know, told my clients that small amounts of caffeine consumption seem to be safe in pregnancy, but if you don't want to even worry about it or risk it, then switch. There are lots of good coffee alternatives out there today.

Have a little Chai. There's so many healthy ones. There are so many great ones. You can do mushrooms, right mushrooms, I have chogha you can do. Alright, some results are already coming in on Instagram through our poll about whether women have experienced night sweats. And it seems it's about a two to one ratio. See, so I'm not that unusual, but I haven't for about a third have not experienced it and two thirds have so everything we've said so far is still accurate. You said it's very common. And I'm just showing I'm not the only soul on earth who hasn't experienced.

Let's let's give it a little more time those those ratios often change, you think it's gonna change? It's gonna be like 95% to 5%.

I don't know. It'll be really it'll be really interesting to see. I'm curious. All right. Well, I bet it I bet it ends up being around three quarters. Yes. One quarter. No. Okay.

All right. Well, that's it for our questions. But I just want to share something with you, Trisha. And with our listeners from the Postpartum Support Group. On Tuesday morning, we have one of our podcast listeners who joined that support group. But she was speaking so openly and articulately about her struggles, and I jotted down some of what she said, and I just wanted to share it here so that you know, everyone can just get a little window into how many women feel postpartum. This is what I jotted down. I feel like such a failure and such a burden. And I feel like I should be doing more but I can't. My sister had multiple 10 pound babies and I couldn't birth my own seven pound baby on my own. And I can't keep a clean house and I feel like a failure. I love my kids and I will never deny that a Why is it so taboo to just admit I feel like shit. When you have to hide your thoughts and feelings. It just tears you down, knowing you have to bottle it all up. I think society thinks you're going to be in a state of bliss, or depression. And the truth is for the vast majority of women, they're somewhere that scale or they're feeling both things concurrently.

And just if and if things are looking really great on the exterior, such as the house being perfectly clean, and the woman being put together, that does not mean that she's feeling that way inside either. You know, there are a lot of women portray that externally, but are feeling equally as challenged inside this woman is actually being a lot more vulnerable and open and real by reaching out in in saying this. So I give her a lot of credit.

Yeah. And also just this whole idea of I can't keep a clean house, there was another woman in the group has been with us for months. She's awesome. And she was like, Oh, you gotta let that go. She's a toddler and two twins. They're all like two and under. Actually, the twins are one and the toddler is two. But she's like, you've got to let that go. And it doesn't mean your house will be messy forever. But we judge ourselves so harshly by the house being untidy. I don't know, there's just basically the theme of the day in our group this week was that it wasn't conscious. But the women just kept naming areas, they were feeling inadequate. My house is messy. I see other moms look so much happier when I look at social media, like they all have the stories in their heads, about how they're inadequate as a wife, as a mother, as a homemaker, whatever it is, as breastfeeding. That was another one. Of course, perception is not truth. Right? How we see things is not how they actually are most of the time in especially if you're using social media as the as the gauge. I mean, nobody is putting their dirty rooms and messy life on social media. Everybody is putting only what they want to portray. If you go on social media, and it brings up feelings of comparison that make you feel inadequate, or less worthy or less capable, instead of inspired, get off it. The only thing that it's good for is to inspire and educate. unfollow any of those accounts or put it away that is doing you no good because it's not even real. Right? And it's a false sense of connection. Oh, for sure. You're not being social about it. Things are social, when you're looking in someone's eyes, when you're in their space when you're that it's one it's unilateral. For one, it isn't social. It's not an exchange at all. Relationship sometimes can be I mean, that's, you know, we're working on building that in our community and people do meet people through social media and develop healthy relationships.

I mean, like scrolling through people's pages, we're like, No, that is not. Yeah, that's not it. And I think you just you have to check in with yourself and go is this helping me or is this hurting me? What feeling is it bringing up in you and if it's bringing up that feeling of comparison and judgment of yourself and feeling less worthy than it is not good for you? Put it away for a while.

Thank you for joining us at the Down To Birth Show. You can reach us @downtobirthshow on Instagram or email us at Contact@DownToBirthShow.com. All of Cynthia’s classes and Trisha’s breastfeeding services are offered live online, serving women and couples everywhere. Please remember this information is made available to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is in no way a substitute for medical advice. For our full disclaimer visit downtobirthshow.com/disclaimer. Thanks for tuning in, and as always, hear everyone and listen to yourself.

That's a really beautiful thing. She's from Minnesota.

Good Midwestern girl.

I knew you'd love that. Lord knows there aren't any bad ones don't exist.

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About Cynthia Overgard

Cynthia is a published writer, advocate, childbirth educator and postpartum support specialist in prenatal/postpartum healthcare and has served thousands of clients since 2007. 

About Trisha Ludwig

Trisha is a Yale-educated Certified Nurse Midwife and International Board Certified Lactation Counselor. She has worked in women's health for more than 15 years.

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